#it's 11:40 pm and i should sleep but all i can think about is that i wanna talk about drivers and their relationship with their hearts

[watercolor-hearts]

.

[theagstd]

One Night Stand ; 40

➥ rundown ; as if the unexpected twist of a one-night stand turning out to be your CEO boss wasn't surreal enough, the situation takes a more challenging turn when both of you discover that you're expecting his child.

→ genre ; enemies to lovers | CEO au | pregnancy trope | slowburn

→ Jungkook x y/n

→ contains smut, fluff and angst

→ Chapter forty ; wc | 4.1k

primarily on Wattpad

index ⇢ next chapter

the visit to your parents is in less than a day and you're busy packing up a few clothes for the weekend trip to Toronto. you'd be lying if you're not nervous because you are. you can feel it in your bones and veins, the anxiety is truly not funny.

Jungkook had been busy with work, he'd been coming home late, very late in fact. he would text you to not stay up for him, to have your dinner take your pills and get to bed. after you spent the first night in his room, he never wanted you to leave, even if you tell him that it's okay, that you're comfortable in your room.

he was not having it, he needed to come back home and see you sleeping on his bed, under his covers. It's 11:15 PM, and he still hasn't come home. You decide to finish packing the last of your clothes before calling it a night, leaving a few items to tuck into your carry-on later. Your phone lights up with a message from your mother:

*"I can't wait to see you, Y/N!"*

Letting out a breath you didn't realize you were holding, you toss the phone aside and sit on the edge of the bed. Your hand instinctively rubs your growing bump as you gaze down at it, worry swirling in your mind—for yourself and the little one. Your parents are open-minded, but will they accept that you're carrying the child of a man they've never heard of? Especially when you were raised to believe that marriage should come before pregnancy.

They're not overly religious, but those fundamental beliefs were deeply instilled in you, and this was one of them. you don't want to disappoint them but you also can't change anything now. What's done is done and now you've accepted your life and the child you carry.

this is gonna be your life now. After zipping the suitcase closed, you push it aside, your mind feeling heavy yet resigned. You take the pills, washing them down with a glass of water, before turning off the lights and sliding beneath the duvet. The view from his windows catches your gaze, a mix of city lights and darkness, as your eyes grow heavy, you feel the bed dip.

you turn to look over your shoulder and see Jungkook gazing at you with his doe eyes. "did I disturb you?" he whispers and you shake your head as you carefully turn to face him. It's been four nights since you last saw him before drifting off to sleep, so the feeling of him beside you instead of an empty bed brings a sense of quiet relief.

he gets closer to you and pulls you towards him. You notice the exhaustion etched in his droopy eyes. "How was work today?" you ask softly, your fingers tracing gentle, imaginary circles on his chest. His gaze stays fixed on your face, filled with a longing that tugs at your heart. He's missed you all day, and seeing you asleep when he got home only deepened his frustration.

"Okay, stressed out," he finally replies with a heavy sigh. you figure that he doesn't really wanna talk about it so you decide not to press further. "are you sure that you're okay to fly tomorrow? We can go when you're free.." you say in a whisper. he's trapped in work and flying so far is only adding to his stress that you think he doesn't need.

he shakes his head and smiles softly. "Don't worry about it, baby." he speaks as he reaches out to take your hand in his, he missed the warmth of it so much. "I'm just waiting to escape this hellhole with you, even if it's just for a weekend," he says, his voice tired but soft. You nod with a small smile, liking the idea of spending time alone with him too, even though you're going to see your parents and not on some vacation.

"It'll be okay," you murmur, cupping his face as he leans in to kiss you gently. "How's... she doing today?" he asks, glancing at your bump. You grab his hand and place it there with a smile. "She's been kicking me all day, craving crackers and cheese. Quiet now, though—probably asleep." He chuckles, running his hand over your belly, his touch warm and careful.

He leans closer, nuzzling into your neck, and you let your fingers trail through his hair and down his stiff shoulders. "You're so tense," you say, frowning a little. "Want me to give you a massage?" "Don't worry about me, baby. I'm fine," he says, but you whine a little, determined to help him relax. He sighs, giving you a small grin as he finally gives in.

"Alright, just for a few minutes. do not want you to be tired" he whispers as he moves closer to you. "i haven't done anything Jungkook, come on turn around." he sleeps on his stomach as you sit up and turn to his side so you can give him some relief. he moans at the feeling of your fingers working down his neck and shoulders. he'd been sitting straight for hours as he worked on papers and typing. it feels so good when your fingers press against his skin, it's like magic.

his pain fades away the more you touch him and if he had the energy he would kiss you and thank you a hundred times but he's too tired to lift his finger. you smile at the sounds that leave his lips. As you continue your massage, your thoughts drift to him.

He does so much for you—not just tending to your basic needs but going out of his way to satisfy your cravings, no matter what they are. Even if he comes home late and you're already asleep, you always wake up to find the food you were craving, which makes your day. While Jungkook might not be actively engaging with the baby yet, the effort he puts into trying warms your heart and makes you genuinely happy.

you get so lost in your thoughts that you don't hear him call out your name. "Baby?" he repeats and you hum as a reply. "come here." He mumbles softly, eyes barely open as he struggles to stay awake. "Yes?" you prompt, leaning closer to his face. Without warning, he pulls you down for a quick peck, catching you off guard and making your heart flutter.

"What was that for?" you ask with a chuckle, the warmth of the moment lingers. His head drops back onto the pillow, and he lets out a contented groan as the tension in his muscles melts away. "Just... wanted to thank you before I fall asleep," he mumbles into the pillow. You snigger as you let your fingers run through his hair.

He loves loves loves it when you touch his hair. It scratches some part of his brain and spine, it sends chills down it and he smiles as he drifts off to sleep. You notice that he passed out so you lay back down beside him, you tuck your hand under your cheek and watch him. His soft cheek rests against the pillow, his lips slightly parted, with the tips of his hair brushing over his forehead. It's a sight that you enjoy the most.

While his neatly oiled and parted hair has a charm that steals your heart every morning, there's something entirely different about him like this. His loose hair and comfortable, homely attire are so peaceful and endearing, it's the Jungkook that you fell for. You don't realize when your eyes close while watching him, but it does and you find yourself waking up in the afternoon to an empty cold bed.

:

Jungkook wraps up his day early, delegating tasks to his team before leaving the building. The flight is at 8 PM, and he still needs to pack. He'd left for work earlier than usual, determined to clear his emails and meetings so that nothing would interrupt the weekend trip to your parent's place. Though he has no idea what to expect, he's made sure not to bring any of his workload along. Still, nerves simmer under the surface.

He's never met your parents before, though he's heard plenty about them from you—they seem warm and family-oriented. But to them, he's still a stranger. He's nothing more than someone in your life, without a defined title or role, and that thought terrifies him more than he's willing to admit. he'd always told you to stop overthinking and to calm down but right now, he needs to follow his own words yet he doesn't.

he picks up a few items on his way back home including the crackers that you spoke about late at night, even through his drowsiness, he mentally notes the little things you say, despite his heavy eyelids and the pull of sleep, his attention lingers on you, catching every word you say. he isn't greeted by you as he enters, he walks upstairs and passes by your room only to see you staring at your clothes that have been pressed by the staff.

he frowns and knocks on your door before he walks inside. you tear your gaze to look at him, he notices the worry on your face and feels his heart heavy. "nervous again?" He asks, and you nod, a pout forming on your lips. He understands how you feel—he's anxious too—but he knows nothing compares to the nerves you're dealing with.

After all, imagine meeting your parents after a few years, and then finding out you're pregnant with a child from a man they don't know, who isn't even married to you. Just thinking about it is enough to make anyone terrified. you exhale deeply as he holds your hand and looks at you. "I'm...nervous too. scared. but we both can face this, okay?"

he attempts to help you relax and it works for the time being after he places a kiss on your forehead. "gonna pack my stuff." "I'll help!" You follow him to his room to help him pack for the weekend. The two of you are quiet, your minds filled with unspoken words and thoughts, yet neither of you says a thing. Jungkook looked for a few hotels he could book for the nights, just in case your parents don't approve of him staying with you.

He doesn't mention it to you, though—he doesn't want to add to your worries. he didn't have much to pack so the both of you walked downstairs to have a snack before you left. he passed the crackers to you and a small smile lit up your face. He knows you're not going to speak with the excitement you usually have because your anxiety is taking over your mind, but that's okay. As long as you don't panic, he's fine.

Jungkook sips his latte while gently patting Bam's head. You're unusually quiet, and even though you know you can tell him anything, the words just don't come. You dip another cracker into the cream cheese and munch on it, having already eaten about 11, even though it hasn't been too long since lunch. You devour the crackers as if they might disappear. Jungkook notices but says nothing, holding back a smile as he watches you savor the snack.

He changes into a black Calvin Klein denim jacket and jeans, pairing them with a white T-shirt. You slip into a comfy, oversized sweater and sweatpants. Knowing how quickly you get cold—especially after the Paris flight—he grabs one of his thick jackets for you. He remembers how rude he was when you took your time coming downstairs earlier, and the memory makes him feel bad. This time, he waits patiently by your side so you both can walk down together.

"I'll carry that for you," he offers, nodding toward your hand luggage. You shake your head, insisting it's not heavy. He gives you a stern look, and you sigh, pouting as you hand it over to him. He ends up carrying both his backpack and your bowling bag without a second thought. The driver loads your luggage while Jungkook holds the door open for you, letting you take your time as you reach for his hand for support.

Your bump is big, and while this isn't the ideal time to travel, it feels like the best moment—things will only get harder in the later weeks. He sits beside you, close—too close—unlike last time. he watches you the whole ride, his eyes don't leave your figure, you're his view, and the streets aren't as beautiful as you.

the two of you remain silent, each lost in your thoughts, trying to calm your nerves. Jungkook worries about what your parents might think of him and if they'll push him away. Meanwhile, you're anxious about how they'll react when they see you pregnant on their doorstep. he wears a mask and advises you to wear one too.

The airport is a breeding ground for germs, and Jungkook doesn't want to risk you catching anything, especially with how easily you're susceptible. It's also another way to avoid the media, stopping them from taking any images without consent and invading your privacy. His hand holds yours gently as you walk side by side. Since you can't walk fast, he matches your pace, making sure you're comfortable.

Arriving about 30 minutes early, the lounge becomes the perfect spot to relax. You smile warmly at him when he chooses a quiet, private corner where there aren't many people. It gives you a chance to take off your mask and rest your swollen feet on the footrest. Jungkook brings you some desserts from the available selection. "what's all this?"

you ask. "desserts ma'am!" he says and sits in front of you as he takes your feet from the footrest and places them on his lap. "Jung-" "Have your desserts while I relieve this- swollen feet." he says and gestures to you to start eating. you smile at him. He's so caring and different from the last time you both were here at the airport.

he massages your feet gently, frowning at how big they are. it looks like someone blowing air into your feet, they look like balloons. " is this normal?" he asks while his fingers press and rub carefully. you nod with your mouth full of the sweet and tangy cherry tart. " this- looks really bad." he says worriedly. "it's fine, I've been dealing with this for months now." he hums.

"here." You hold out the tart to him, but he shakes his head, telling you he got them for you, so you should be the one to enjoy it. "One bite," he says, opening his mouth as you place the tart between his lips. He takes a bite, flakes of the pastry fall to his jacket and the jams stick to the corners of his lips. you push yourself forward, dusting off his black denim and wiping off the jam with your fingertips. "Nice, right?" you ask.

"Mm hmm," he mumbles, a small smile tugging at his lips. It's funny to him, thinking back to the last time you both were here. Back then, you didn't like the idea of him bringing you sweets, but you ate them anyway, making a big show of how delicious they were. Then you forced him to try them, despite his countless attempts to say no.

When he finally gave in and took a bite, he pretended it tasted awful, even though it didn't, just so you wouldn't get the chance to boast about it and inflate your ego. and here you both are, feeding each other tarts while he massages your feet only because you walked so far and he's worried for you. wiping off each other's faces and no rude comments and tone passed, just love and affection and more love. boarding into the flight was quite the hassle,

he made sure to let you walk inside carefully, and he requested the people behind him to wait until you got to your seat but some of them were arrogant and didn't want to show kindness, which angered him. you whispered a few, "It's okay" "I'm fine" as you pulled Jungkook to walk with you. "fuck them" he mumbles under his breath as he adjusts the seatbelt for you to fit your bump. "calm down babe." you say and somehow that immediately eases him.

"your frown lines are gonna sit forever. relax them." you say as your finger reaches to rub it away and he chuckles as he sits beside you. he asks you if you're okay from time to time and makes sure you're all comfortable. when the flight is about to take off, you don't panic. because Jungkook is holding your hand and rubbing his thumb against the back of your hand, soothing you and taking away all your thoughts and tension.

he's freely able to hold you and touch you anytime now so he doesn't hesitate as he holds you tight when the flight takes off. telling you it's alright, I'm here. you feel so loved when he does these little things like making sure to order the easy meal for you, some extra buns and bread so you can munch on something while you watch the romance movie on the screen. you feel like you're in one, after meeting Jungkook everything feels like a movie anyway, everything he says and does just makes you fall for him harder and harder.

"you need anything?" he asks when he sees you moving around. "I wanna pee.." You whisper as you struggle to unbuckle your seatbelt. Jungkook quickly unbuckles his own and leans over to help you. "Want me to come with you?" he asks softly. You shake your head, still holding his hand as you carefully get out of your seat. After taking care of what you need to do, you walk back to your seat, and Jungkook watches you the whole time.

He waits for you to return, and somehow, that simple gesture makes something stir in your stomach. He smiles at you and asks, "All good?" You nod, and he gently places his hand on your bump, giving it a soft rub. "I'm gonna rest for a while," you say, and Jungkook quickly lowers the seat, turning it into a bed. You lay down, letting out a yawn as you pull up the blanket they offered, settling in for some much-needed rest.

He gazes at you for a while, and you're used to it by now—him simply watching you. It makes you feel safe, knowing he's there, looking at you with such quiet attention. "Good night," you whisper. He notices you pulling the blanket higher, as if it's not warm enough, so he grabs the jacket he brought and gently drapes it over you.

You sigh in contentment at his gesture, pulling the jacket tighter around you. His scent surrounds you, and it lulls you into a peaceful sleep, your body relaxing fully as you drift off. He wakes you up to have something before taking your night pills, gently feeding you because you're too sleepy.

-

the flight journey was comfortable and easy for you, although running to the washroom was frustrating considering how you must walk a certain distance and also wait until the person walks out, everything else was quite okay. you ask him frequent questions and speak random stuff- "How long till we land?" "did you have your meal?" "I think the guy who went to the washroom before me had done too much of an explosion."

Jungkook was always there for you, even if he dozed off, your movements would wake him up just in case you needed something or needed relief for your feet. You slept through most of the time except for your meals, while Jungkook didn't allow himself even a moment for a full rest. he had so much running through his mind like what if your parents tell you to stay with them? What is he gonna do without you? He had never felt more anxious than he did now; even the silly comedy movie couldn't draw a laugh from him, not even a faint smile.

he kept looking at you from time to time, reaching to hold your hand, as if preparing himself for the possibility of having to part ways with you, even if only for the weekend. when it was time for landing, you were awake sipping on apple juice with your eyes closed while you listened to some music. Jungkook urges you to drink quickly so he can return the cup to the flight attendant.

He adjusts your seatbelt and pulls your seat upright, noticing your silence. You haven't been looking at him or asking questions, and he can tell you're feeling uneasy. Here you both are, in Canada—your homeland. "Hey, you alright?" he whispers, his voice soft. You nod and reach for his hand just as the announcement signals it's time to land. His grip on your palm is firm and reassuring. "Remember to breathe,"

he reminds you. Following his guidance, you focus on your breath until the plane touches down safely. he helped you adjust your clothes that had ridden up your chest, placed your leftover snacks into your bag and carried it for you.

he draped his coat over your shoulders, The temperature outside was warm as Jungkook stepped off the flight, but inside the airport, you still feel a lingering chill. Your eyes wander across the familiar surroundings, and a small smile forms on your lips. It's been three years since you moved to Korea, and while not much has changed here, the sight of it still stirs something deep within you. when everything was done, he got a taxi and helped you sit in the back seat,

asking you to tell the man your address. when it leaves your lips, you then know that this is real, this is so real and a sudden weight is added to your shoulders, you even feel it in your stomach. Jungkook feels it too, so this time, both of you gaze out the window, quietly taking in the scenery. There's a gentle space between you, not because of anything, but so you both can lose yourselves in your thoughts. As you approach the familiar streets and neighborhood, you notice the streetlights flickering on, casting a soft glow.

The place hasn't changed at all, and a warmth spreads through you as you take in the sight of the small, beige houses—so simple, yet so lovely. It fills your heart with a quiet comfort, the sense of home you thought you'd left behind. the car stops in front of the ash house with a garden where a swing sits. "are we here?"

Jungkook asks softly and you give him a short nod. he opens the door for you and takes your bag with his, thanking the cab driver for taking out the luggage and for the ride. you both stand in front of your house, the house you grew up in with your loving parents. you take a deep breath, trying to control the tears that threaten to leave as you glance down at your bump. Jungkook stands beside you, waiting for you to take the move.

He notices you gulping a couple of times, your features dull and your face looking ashen even under the bright moonlight. Gently, he takes your hand in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze as he whispers, "Come on." You let out a sigh and nod quickly, moving towards the deep grey door. he helps you climb the three stairs until you both are standing in front of the door.

"I'm here, with you and for you. Don't worry, we're in this together." Jungkook whispers, his hand never leaving yours. Your fingers itch to press the doorbell, the tension thick in the air. The man beside you, trying to appear strong for your sake, hides his fear behind a composed exterior, wanting you to feel safe. But deep inside, as the seconds drag on, he's terrified.

The weight of the moment presses down on him, his heart racing with anxiety. your finger almost touches the white bell but the door opens before you can. there your mother stands before you, a smile on her face drains down as her gaze runs down your face to your bump and then to the man beside you. you gulp down the biggest stone in your throat, and Jungkook does too. "Mom-"

"What the hell?!!"

next chapter ⇢

[gaystayzennie]

Quick 2000 Line + Yuta x Reader Imagine

(Yuta x reader, Haechan x Renjun, Jeno x Jaemin)

Warnings: NSFW, poly, male or gn reader, bad grammar probably because I wrote this really quick

Ok but I can’t stop thinking about dating Haechan but he shares you with the ‘00 line occasionally and then one day you’re out clubbing with them all along with Johnny, Yuta, Taeyong, and Mark and suddenly you’re in the midst of a bathroom orgy (sort of). I was daydreaming about it the other day and oh my GOD I had to write it down.

You and Haechan are in an established relationship and some of the dreamies are seeing each other casually. Haechan is a pretty open guy and shares his history with some of the other members pretty early on in your relationship. It surprises him a little when you tell him that you’re sort of turned on by the idea of him fucking the members. After all it’s no secret all of Haechan’s bandmates are pretty attractive. Haechan is quick to tell you that some of the others are also still in a an open relationship and wants to know how you feel about that. The two of you quickly reach an agreement that you can both sleep with the ‘00 line as often as you like as long as you don’t see any other people without talking first.

….Fast forward to your night out at the gay club…

10:50 PM - On the drive over, Haechan gossips with you about the latest in all of NCT’s love/sex lives. You’re a bit surprised to hear that Yuta and Mark had a fight recently; but knowing Yuta, you’re certain he’ll find someone to fuck within the first five minutes of entering the club too instead of just talking to Mark like a normal person. What catches you off guard is Haechan’s comment: “You should talk to Yuta tonight. You know to…comfort him.” You cock an eyebrow at him to silently ask him what he’s implying but all you get is a shrug and a smirk in response. “Anyways. Let’s go in, Renjun is already there waiting!” he grabs your hand and hops out of the car and into the club while Jeno and Jaemin groan and follow you guys in.

11:20 PM - A few drinks later and you find yourself dancing with Yuta (or really on Yuta) as he grinds into you from behind. You giggle as he begins trailing kisses down your neck. Deciding to interpret Haechan’s words from before as permission, you throw your head back giving Yuta better access to your neck. It isn’t long before you guys make your way to the bathroom and lock the stall door behind you. He picks you up easily and places you in his lap facing you to continue making out with you as you grind into his clothed dick, which has grown hard under your heat rubbing into him. Yuta is sucking hickies into your neck as you hear two pairs of shoes making their way into the bathroom and heavy breathing mixed with quiet moans. You’d recognize those moans anywhere. “Haechan?”

“Y/n? Fu-“ his words cut off when he moans loudly clearly receiving a hickey of his own in the stall next to you. “Hi y/n ie. It’s just me. Ok if I fuck your boyfriend tonight?” You hear Renjun ask you. “Oh Renjun! It’s just you. Please by all means fuck his brains out.” Yuta stops kissing your neck for a minute to giggle at the whole exchange. “Y/n? You wanna get back to what we’re doing? Haechan seems to be just fine with sharing huh?”

“Fuck yes please Yuta” you say unbuttoning his pants finally as you speak and aligning his dick with your entrance.

11:40 PM - Yuta is rolling his hips up into you exactly right and you’re a moaning mess on his dick. He truly is fucking you dumb to the point that you can’t even speak. The feeling of the alcohol buzzing in your head mixing in with the sounds of your boyfriend getting fucked by his pretty best friend while you get your own world rocked has you drooling and unable to speak.

Meanwhile in the stall on the other side of you Jaemin and Jeno are having their own fun. They’d been there the whole time, Jaemin kneeling on the ground giving Jeno the best head of his life. It wasn’t until Jeno swore under his breath that you finally heard the two of them. You’d been so wrapped up in the idea of Renjun railing your boyfriend next to you and the way Yuta was fucking into you at an animalistic pace to even notice them. But as soon as you heard Jaemin moan around Jeno’s dick, your climax came rushing over you. Yuta on the other hand wasn’t quite done, and swore he’d “keep fucking you until either he finishes, or that boyfriend of yours cums. Whichever comes first.” Knowing Yuta, you’re not sure whether to believe him, but you’re not complaining either way.

1:27 AM - “Where did the others go? I literally haven’t seen anyone since we got here?” Johnny asked. “Those horndogs. Let’s just leave them honestly. They can uber back whenever they’re finally done” said Taeyong. “One more song and then we go?” asked Mark. Johnny shrugged at Mark. “Sounds good to me I guess”.

The end.

[mortallyandrogynoussheep]

wassup, im back with (posting about) trying to get my life back together

i didnt quit the 100 days of struggling, or whatever, i was really just, well, struggling. to be alive, i guess.

yesterday was the peak of me feeling the most unstable over the last week or two, i think it was mostly due to my period being around the corner, so hormones are going crazy and you know the old shenanigan of - you know that your period is coming, when you start feels borderline suicidal and depressed.

ngl, it was scary as hell, because i think it was 40/60 of why i was feeling so down - 40 being the initial struggle, 60 being the fear coming from "i dont want for things to scale back to how they once were". because how they once were is best described the one sinlge word - hell.

anyway, the drama aside, i am now feeling much much better, thankfully, and i have a more positive outlook on life. at least for now.

so, we're missing the days from the 4th of July. insert the eagle scream. i will try to recount them from my memory to the best of my abilities, more so for myself and to keep track of days.

3/100 days of getting my life back together

Friday, July 5, 2024

quite frankly, I don't remember where the day went. i looked around for some notes or whatever else scattered in my place and im not sure what exactly was i doing. the only highlight of that day, was that i finally payed off the first paying for my dentist check and i think that is the most information I have. i think i woke up at 2:30 pm, so that would explain the short day. i remember studying a little bit in the evening and it probably was the software engineering notes, aka SE, since i think i was studying in bed and i do notes for se on my tablet.

4/100 days of getting my life back together

Saturday, July 6, 2024

on this day i met up with my friends for some socialization, i guess. we talked and had some boba. i studied on my way there and back, which came up to about an hour of studying in total. the rest of the day is, again, a mystery to me. maybe i should start keeping a journal to help myself. because i freaking bought one on that day fdskflsd

5/100 days of getting my life back together.

Sunday, July 7, 2024

okay, here i was really happy, because for the first time in weeks i managed to not only wake up at 8 am, but also went to bed somewhere between 22-23 at the clock. granted, i fell asleep an hour later, after i woke up, because i was suddenly hit with a wave of sleepiness and tiredness, but, i guess, one small step at a time. i mean it did fuck up my sleeping schedule for today, because i ended falling asleep somewhere between 2 and 3 am, but we have what we have.

the highlight of yesterday was finally finishing up a job i was postponing for MONTHS, which was printing out all the documents we would need, for my mom to apply for a job. i won't be going into too much details of why and etc, but yeah. at the end of the day i had 8 copies of 4 documents printed out, and was feeling more or less good about it.

at the second 4 copies batch printer decided to start playing games, and first chewed on the paper it was printing, and then i decided to try a new approach to try to speed things up, but it only ended up damaging one of the copies, so i had to redo that. but at the end of the day, the job was done.

i didn't study at all that day, because as i said at the start of this post - this was the day, when my head decided, that it's a great time to go sad-mode.

i also started taking some vitamins that have been laying around for a few months now, because i feel really crappy and i need some help, that maybe they can provide, before i get my eating habbits and everything else back in place. for now i am hoping they could be my crutches.

oh, and also i did some yoga to stretch my body. nothing huge, but i guess it's something good?

6/100 days of getting my life back together

Monday, July 8, 2024

and now we are back to present day. woke up at about 11:30 or so. played a little bit of guitar for the first time since MONTHS, i started learning the scientist, we'll see how it goes. i figured to reward myself, i would put a new fun sticket on it, if i finished learning it.

anyway, it is now 15:35 as i am writing this, i will be now cleaning up a little bit and getting back to studying.

DB 4 (finish up)

SE 4 (finish up)

DB 5

SE 5

[blindrapture]

SATURDAY MAY 28TH, 2011 (Cipher For A Million Years)

7:10 AM MISTRESS, HOW ARE YOUUUUU? Um.. yeah, kinda.. bad time! don’twakeupdonniedon’twakeupdonniedon’twakeupdonnie "You made it to Blackpool, and in such record time! This is a nice town, isn't it? Have you been on the front yet? There's still loads of souvenirs, and no one to charge you money for them. There's even a working candy floss machine. Maybe I'll have you make me some sometime. Maybe later." It.. it is a nice town, yes! "I'm here to give you important information. There's a marketplace I want you to go to, you'll find it on your own, you'll know the place. I want you there on Tuesday, at 8 PM. I have a job for you." Oh.. okay. "See you, cutie." And she's gone. o_o That was.. particularly awkward for me, as Donnie's hugging me in her sleep. Goddamn, Jordan. You're either very lucky, or very unlucky. I have no idea anymore.

10:07 AM Had breakfast. Going for another walk. I asked the tropers about any nearby marketplaces, and there's a very prominent one nearby. Gonna check it out, see if there’s anything today.

10:45 AM The marketplace is quiet, no zombies anywhere or anything. There are countless stalls littered around, and very few are empty. …free stuff. :D

10:51 AM Ohhhh my god, CDs.

10:54 AM There was actually some good stuff there. Got Bonnjo Vjönsped’s Cipher for a Million Years (part one: Beacon and Forty Knights of Some Sort of Fluffy Texture) and some David Bowie.

10:59 AM ..huh. A poster. “MAY 31 @ 20:00 TVTROPES MEET-UP HERE” A troper meet-up. May 31st is.. I’m pretty sure that’s Tuesday. 20:00’s 8 o’ clock. Mistress was right. Shit. This is interesting.

1:12 PM Back at the house. Brought up the troper meet-up. Tropers 1 and 2 didn’t know about it. o_o

2:38 PM We're all sitting in the living room, drinking tea, eating crumpets, reading newspapers and books. Like nothing ever happened to the world. This.. pretty much is exactly why I wanted to come up here. It's about survival, but it's also about safety. Donnie's thankful to have somewhere safe, she gets it! And she's thankful she joined me on such a long journey. uwu If I can just.. deal with Mistress... then maybe this can be the new life for us? And if I can deal with her, then surely the governments and stuff can deal with the rest of it? ...Donnie's crossed her leg over mine. God, I've always wanted that.

4:40 PM During a lull in conversation about the places the tropers would have liked to have shown us if the town still worked, I asked what the others know about the rabbit holes. “They’re gateways to somewhere. Sometimes people come back from them.” That’s all they knew. I didn’t want to mention what Mistress told me, about how they caused this whole mess, how they’re growing. They’d wonder how I knew this. Donnie would, too. I can’t spill my secrets. In retrospect, I should probably be careful what I write, as well. But no one's trying to read my journals. I think people just.. assume it's The Thing I Do.

7:12 PM Blackpool's never this quiet in the summertime, it's a tourist town. Just goes to show how much a week of monsters changes. The internet’s finally gone down. I suppose that’s why there’s a troper meet-up going on here.

10:00 PM It’s hard to believe this apocalypse has been going on for over a week now. I just realized that.

10:27 PM You know what I’m in the mood for? Awake. Dream Theater. Specifically, “The Mirror.” >w>

10:28 PM DUN DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN. Puppies on Acid, motherfuckers.

10:45 PM Whoa, that was a loud noise.

10:46 PM THE ZOMBIES BROKE THE FRONT DOOR DOWN

10:48 PM EAT GUITAR CONTROLLERRRR

10:54 PM THEY’RE EVERYWHERE FUCK FUCK FUCK

10:55 PM They’re not even doing anything. They only attack when I do. They move when I do.

10:59 PM These zombies look really freaking creepy. Most of them don’t even look dead. Just.. high. They look brain-dead.

11:00 PM Wait, what. They’re leaving.

11:03 PM Each one is gone now; the house is completely deserted besides us living folk.

11:09 PM ..troper 2. Where’s troper 2?

11:11 PM We’ve looked all over, but he’s nowhere. I wish we knew where he was.

11:13 PM Donnie spotted him. He’s outside with the zombies. I’m gonna get him. I need something to do.

11:18 PM The zombies are all staring at me. They’re standing still, only turning to continue watching me as I go past. Troper 2 is stuck. He can’t move.

11:19 PM Fucking ropes or something, cable, something, wrapped around his leg. I’m gonna try to untie his That’s not around his leg. That’s in it. fuckmore of them in his arms torso head ZOMbies WAKING UP

11:30 PM Fuuuck goddammit. I’m in. Troper 2’s not; he vanished shortly after the zombies ‘woke up.’ I need to keep a record of this. The more we have written down, the better, right? Troper 2 was struggling, he said he couldn’t move. I checked it out and he had…. some.. things, like.. cables or something digging into various parts of his skin. Then the zombies woke up. They just all said “How do you do.” And next thing I know, they all raised their hands forward. Like.. like you expect zombies to do. They all reached for me. Fuck, that was very weird.

11:42 PM Donnie wants me in bed. Her exact words were “I want you to come to bed with me.” I don’t know if she’s just too tired to watch her words or what. I guess we’re gonna find out!

(Attached: “The difficulty of parsing a question mark in the spoken-word depends wholly on the speaker’s inflections and on context. For phrases commonly taken rendered as statements, the speaker needs to raise her or his inflection at the end of the phrase in order for a listener to infer an inquisitive nature. All of this is irritating enough without considering ambiguous or even cryptic phrases, a trait ridiculously common to we the lonely wanderers. Not normally common to Salmacis, but I guess at this point it had her hands full already. Join us next month for the episode on complex pronoun systems!”)

[PREV LOG] [TABLE OF CONTENTS] [NEXT LOG]

[lowellstephens]

It is now 11:40 pm February 21, 2023. Well now its 11:47 pm.

I will explain a little bit about shelter life. I guess that the same can be said about jail. This shelter is the Randels Island shelter. It’s said to be one of the worst shelters in the city along with Atlantic Avenue shelter. I don’t think that this shelter is that bad and I have been in the Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn and I didn’t think that was that bad either. Basically, you have to mind your business and not get in trouble. You have to be ready for “beef” at anytime, even if you are sleeping. I sleep with ‘one eye open’ which just means that you should never be deep in sleep, as most of you readers sleep at your home. I never sleep too heavy even when I was not in the shelter.

I will talk on family in this post. I am holding up a 20.00 bill because I called all three (3) of my children. My oldest daughter never pickup my calls or texts, my youngest daughter answered but just flat out said “no” this time, but to be fair she has loaned me money in the past. I told her that if she loaned me 12.00 I would repay her 50.00. She said yes, that time. I asked again and she said yes again so I have to give her 100.00 tomorrow. My oldest daughter never picked up.

I called her at 12:20 am the day before and she said that I called her ‘too late’. When I called at 8:00 am the next morning she never picked up. So that equates to ‘no’. To be fair she has loaned me money at great cost. I borrowed 5.00 and I have to repay 15.00. I borrowed 20.00 and she said that I have to repay her 150.00. I have to give her 100.00 for the phone. So that is 250.00 total. Then I called her for 52.00 but I have to tell her that I will give her 400.00 total tommorow which is today since it is now 12:05 am now February 22, 2023.

I called my son, my firstborn son which is Lowell III. His son is Lowell IV. I am Lowell II. My father was Lowell I, but he is dead. Anyway my son did not give me 20.00 either. To be fair, he was giving me 25.00 every day for about 2 months but I quit, or he fired me because I wanted him to pay the 25.00 by 5:00 am every morning. He could do it, so that job ended. I told him that I get up at 5:00 and the money would serve me better that way. Since he fired me. they don’t want be to see my grandson anymore. He (my grandson) and is my little buddy.

The 20.00 bill that you that I DID finally get from my sister, I have to repay her 40.00. Why repay such rates? Because when you are in jail or the shelter, rejection hurts 4x harder than in person.

So later on today I have to Zelle a total of 540.00 for borrowing 24 + 77 + 20 = 121.00 dollars. Shelter life for me.

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

6.24.24 Monday

7:20 am

Still,have windblow...

Drinking my first cup of coffee...

9:45 am

Hmm..Uncle DD is putting a spell on me and John... Hmm... Where are they hiding doing the rituals???

If they kill John, they should kill me next and I'm not INC or Church Of Christ...

My right hand suddenly feel itchy after cleaning the eyes of Neko ( family dog that I planned to buy the papers) . If I have a money... But mainly it is still under the name of ownership of Uncle DD...

I wore a plastic gloves... John suddenly vomited but I know it is a spell...

Yeah! Right I masturbated this am.... It affects my soul... I'm thinking of my cousin white and other soul...

10:12 am

Hahaha Funny this "Credit Peso" I got the loan last 18th of this month worth 1450 then I have to pay today 2588... 1138 is the interest...

10:16 am

I don't have money and job to pay for it... Still, planning to get an another loan angels...

11:36 am

RV and Janna are here .... 2nd child named Rameses... Wow!

2:40 pm

Still,have windblow...

Maya called me about the 35000 loaned that I got on their record the agent named Eleonor. I said I didn't loan and I couldn't log-in from the past months... Then, I receieved a message that I have the money amounting 35000 that they sent on my Maya Account. I heard the mail that is being used as me on their record,it wasn't mine. Eleonor asked me to call the Maya customer service to tell them my issue but I said I'm not gonna do that coz it wasn't my negligence. I'm also stressed-out these days on my existing loan on apps but not in Maya...

3:01 pm

Still,have windblow...

I'm thinking of money and job and how to pay my creditz....

I wanna do nose perfection....I feel so ugly and old and fat...

I wanna travel and I wanna go back to gym... I can't find a bf that I want here...

I wanna get a breast implants...

I have frustration coz of masturbation... But I want a bf who can help me on money.

4:16 pm

I dreamed to be a playboy during my younger years but now nah! I feel old and literally old but I still want vanity.

Why, I wanted to be a playboy coz of fame ,money and better chances in life. Travel, drinking Starbucks everyday, vanity, fame, money, meeting people who can help me to have money...

Techi is the original playbloy in the Philippines...

Not all can be part of playboy... But now I feel bullshit, I'm literally old....There are so many younger soul who are well-fixed!

But I still want vanity for my self-esteem and to find a bf that I like of course.... But sensitive, someone who can lift me...I feel fat and old and ugly these days... Gaining but still trying to burn out calories and some fats...Healthy living but I still wanna job and money and travel...

4:45 pm

I ordered a "neomycin sulfate" for the eyes of Neko, I have this sympathy for her not to get blind coz of the infection that she is having now. My heart is good... I don't know if Uncle DD can pay me back for that 200 pesoses eyedrops...

I used my online loan money...

8:22 pm

Huh?

Huh? THIS CREDIT PESO LOAN IS FUNNY...

Can some angels call these numbers???

8:34 pm

Angels, can I get some free lawyers for me???

9:04 pm

I need free lawyers for this angels...

9:15 pm

Seriously, angels I need a Lawyer for this, for free...

9:24 pm

Still,have windblow...

Seriously, I need a free lawyer...

9:30 pm

Still,have windblow...

My free lawyer will settle this angels....

11:28 pm

Uncle Jun is listening to his phone on a loud speaker... As if we are not sleeping....

[finex7]

Luminifera Yesterday at 11:30 AM

> hello neroooo

> nerooooooo. with the ooh sound

> hahahahah

> another day... possibly more pool time!

NeroFas Yesterday at 11:37 AM

> Lmao

> Yassss

> I won't go today but you enjoy!

Luminifera Yesterday at 11:38 AM

> I hope I will. I have an insane amount of anxiety right now out of nowhere.

NeroFas Yesterday at 11:38 AM

> aw

Luminifera Yesterday at 11:38 AM

> then again, I have insane amounts of anxiety almost every day xD

> there's this medication I wanna try, but I'm dreading spending 100 BRL per month on it... when I already spend a lot on my other medications too

> then again, I probably should. 100 per month isn't that much. I can afford it. it's just... ah... spending money hurts me emotionally.

NeroFas Yesterday at 11:40 AM

> What does it do

> How many meds are you on

Luminifera Yesterday at 11:41 AM

> I'm not sure actually hahah I had looked it up but I forgot now hehe

> I'm on 2 daily ones

> desvenlafaxine in the morning, it's a dual antidepressant. inhibits recapture of serotonin and norepinephrine

NeroFas Yesterday at 11:43 AM

> Interesting

> Did it help

Luminifera Yesterday at 11:44 AM

> trazodone at night. it's a... an antidepressant

> Trazodone is an antidepressant that belongs to a group of drugs called serotonin receptor antagonists and reuptake inhibitors (SARIS).

> huh, so it... disables the receptors or something?

> I forgot all I knew about pharmacology...

[[NeroFas Did it help]]

> all I know is that I'm worse without it. hahah

> so I guess it does help.

NeroFas Yesterday at 11:46 AM

> Ok Imao

Luminifera Yesterday at 11:48 AM

> I can't function without desvenlafaxine. if I go without it for 2 days or more, I get really moody, very irritable, crying easily, head gets foggy and dizzy, etc

> symptoms increase with the time I go without it.

> without trazodone, I can't sleep.

> it makes me sleepy.

> I started taking it last year when I started having insomnia, on my last month of uni

NeroFas Yesterday at 11:49 AM

> I see

Luminifera Yesterday at 11:49 AM

> yeah.

> but those are withdrawal symptoms.

> if I slowly lower the dosage, I can wean myself out. it's what I did with lithium and quetiapine

> so I don't take them anymore.

NeroFas Yesterday at 11:51 AM

> Good idea

Luminifera Yesterday at 11:52 AM

> i was doing the same with desvenlafaxine, but then the "last semester of uni + graduation + drastic change from student to worker" combo hit me so hard xD

> 2022 was difficult for me.

> and then I lost olive, too.

> he's not dead. but he might as well be. in fact, it'd be easier if he was

> I think my therapist misjudged how harshly it would affect me.

> she's the one who suggested me being straightforward.

NeroFas Yesterday at 11:54 AM

> Sorry that happened

Luminifera Yesterday at 11:54 AM

> it was like ripping off a band-aid.

> but the wound underneath wasn't healed

NeroFas Yesterday at 11:55 AM

> Yeah mood

Luminifera Yesterday at 11:55 AM

> and so it's been exposed. anything that touched it hurt so badly.

> it's a bit better now.

> but sometimes it still feels like the pain is unbearable.

> I couldn't imagine living without him. but now I am forced to.

> he was my lifeline for so many years

> now I have to force myself to swim. but I haven't learned it yet

> wow, what a way to start the day hahah

> I'm sorry I'm talking about this

NeroFas Yesterday at 11:57 AM

> No it's ok

> I am having my own What a Way to Start the Day

Luminifera Yesterday at 3:07 PM

> yes pool but it started raining so we came to the tiny heated pool that is indoors

Luminifera Yesterday at 5:17 PM

> feeling awful now

[[Luminifera feeling awful now]]

Luminifera Yesterday at 5:18 PM

> I made a comment about my friend's insecurity and offended her on accident.

> she was sad about it.

Luminifera Yesterday at 5:31 PM

> it's not because of that. I have identified the source of my distress.

> it's her girlfriend and one of her girlfriend's friends.

> they don't like me. I'm sure of it.

> they think I'm annoying and they can't stand me. I feel it.

> it's the vibe.

> they see me as a burden.

> it's a similar vibe that I get from autumn and mel sometimes, but luckily I've never been with them in person.

[[Luminifera it's a similar vibe that I get from autumn and mel sometimes]]

Luminifera Yesterday at 5:37 PM

> similar but much worse.

> autumn and mel are nice about it.

> not that these girls are rude or anything. it's the coldness in their eyes. the expressions of disgust in their faces.

> they're not saying anything, but their body language spits, "I don't want you here".

> I don't want anyone to see me cry.

Luminifera Yesterday at 5:47 PM

> having a kpop group as my screen saver and phone background might be cringe when other people see it, but it always makes me feel better to see them

> it's like they're guardian angels. muses. imaginary friends.

> like, I know they're real people whom I know nothing about xD but I'm talking about the persona they have as a group.

> if I ever saw them irl, I'd want to thank them for doing their job very well.

> excellent idols.

> my imaginary friends irene, seulgi, wendy, joy and yeri

> they're supposedly the imaginary friends of a little girl who made them up as personalities for her dolls, to play with. or something. it's a "theory" about their group hahahah. "lore" as the kids say it

> it works like that for me.

> it has a calming effect on me.

> I also like that they're color coded.

> my beautiful friends in their colorful gingham dresses.

[[Luminifera they're not saying anything, but their body language spits, "I don't want you here".]]

Luminifera Yesterday at 6:03 PM

> I can't stand up to them and I think this makes them dislike me even more.

> because then I'm the victim, right? and that's disgusting to them. that I offended someone, and yet, I'm the one who acts all shy and small and hiding

> nevermind that it wasn't on purpose. in fact that would make it worse.

> because I'm not even an asshole.

> I'm just weak. disgusting.

> and then I keep acting weak (because I'm scared of them), which is even more disgusting.

> of course, I'm just making this all up in my head. all those reasons and rationale and connections between things.

> but the disgust is real. I can sense it. I know it.

> just like I can look at the sky and know that it's gray.

> I don't want to go downstairs to eat, because she's there.

> and she helped make the food.

> worse, she lives somewhat close to my neighborhood, so the others might have the idea of having me go back home in her car with her.

> I really really really don't want that.

> and I'll bet she doesn't want it either, but she'll do it if everyone agrees it's best.

Luminifera Yesterday at 6:11 PM

> this is something that I absolutely hate: the way everything is always veiled. never out in the open.

> they will never admit that they dislike me

> so if I say anything, I'm crazy. I'm imagining things. I'm victimizing myself. it gives them even more reason to dislike me.

> my friend's gf at least sometimes feels bad for being cold to me. but I don't think her friend feels anything for me but disgust and indifference.

Luminifera Yesterday at 6:44 PM

> crying makes everything worse.

> i don't like feeling unwelcome. but this is the worst: feeling unwelcome by some, but others want you to be there. so you can't just leave.

[[Luminifera worse, she lives somewhat close to my neighborhood, so the others might have the idea of having]]

Luminifera Yesterday at 7:04 PM

> guess what was decided

> I'd rather go by bus. really really rather do that.

> I'm now trying to build up the courage to go tell them about it.

> I'm also thinking about [redacted]

> in that you could fall asleep peacefully, and then die. like... is there a better possible suicide method? imagine? you just fall asleep and then you're dead?

> best course of action.

> I think I'll just. hide somewhere. and then they'll go without me.

> I wish I hadn't come. I wish I'd stayed home.

> I'm so sorry for the trouble I'm going to cause them. I really am. but I can't do this.

Luminifera Yesterday at 7:24 PM

> gonna try to find a place to hide. wish me luck.

[[Luminifera if I ever saw them irl, I'd want to thank them for doing their job very well.]]

NeroFas Yesterday at 8:12 PM

> I completely understand

Luminifera Yesterday at 8:17 PM

> I'm hiding.

> they will be angry with me.

> rebeka especially.

> she's my friend's gf.

> she will probably try to convince them to leave me here.

> maybe my friends will agree. I wouldn't blame them.

> I am being obnoxious.

> I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. for them. I didn't want to do this.

> I was just too scared. I'm terrified. I can't take it.

> I'm... I don't know what I am.

> but I couldn't take it.

> I ran away.

> I'm hiding from the rain by the side of a church.

> it's really raining a lot.

> my friends will be angry.

> it's good that they're angry.

[[Luminifera worse, she lives somewhat close to my neighborhood, so the others might have the idea of having]]

Luminifera Yesterday at 8:20 PM

> she went home by herself.

> I haven't asked anyone. but I suppose things were rearranged so that I'd come back with my friend and rebeka.

> but I'm scared. I'm really scared of her.

> I don't know why. I'm not sure why I'm so scared of her. I don't know what in her is so terrifying.

> I couldn't stand it. it was too much. I was huddling and crying. I couldn't. I couldn't stay there.

> it's good if my friends are angry at me and like me less. because they'll miss me less when I die.

> if they leave me here, I'll find a way home. I dont know how. maybe i can ask someone in this church to take me to the bus station.

> I have my phone with me. and my card.

> and a water bottle.

> and my jacket.

[[Luminifera I don't want to go downstairs to eat, because she's there.]]

NeroFas Yesterday at 8:23 PM

> Go compliment the food!

Luminifera Yesterday at 8:23 PM

> that's all I have. everything else was in my bags. my friend put them in the car.

[[NeroFas Go compliment the food!]]

Luminifera Yesterday at 8:24 PM

> I did not like the food. I ate it because I know my body needs food. and because I didn't want to offend them by not eating.

[[Luminifera I really really really don't want that.]]

NeroFas Yesterday at 8:24 PM

> Have you considered your negativity is self creating? Maybe she thinks you hate her

Luminifera Yesterday at 8:25 PM

> I don't even have my earbuds... I should have put it in my pocket. but I didn't. it's in my backpack.

> rebeka will be angry if she put it in the trunk and then I ask for it. I think she put it in the trunk though. I don't want to ask.

> I don't want to have to deal with any of that.

> my friend is calling me. the male one. he's angry with me, I know it. I'm not answering the calls.

> hate me. please. go on and just hate me. leave me here.

> and don't forgive me.

[[NeroFas Have you considered your negativity is self creating? Maybe she thinks you hate her]]

Luminifera Yesterday at 8:26 PM

> oh she does not, they know I don't hate any of them

> this woman is preaching quite the sermon at this church.

> it's about hiding in fear.

> ironic!

> I should go back.

> but I'm scared.

> they will be angry.

> I don't want to face their anger.

[[Luminifera it's good that they're angry.]]

NeroFas Yesterday at 8:57 PM

> Why

> Oh I see what you said for why

> What a bad day

> When you go back you can say you went for a walk and ironically went to church

> Its ok, you didn't do anything bad

Luminifera Yesterday at 9:05 PM

> they found me.

> they're very angry.

> they're all wet from the rain.

> another three of them went looking too, but they left their phones in the house.

> I am absolutely terrified.

> I cannot interact with them. it's not safe.

> I hope they hate me.

> I hope it works.

[[NeroFas Its ok, you didn't do anything bad]]

Luminifera Yesterday at 9:07 PM

> yes I did.

> I ran away. they're all wet because of me. 3 people are still walking around in the rain looking for me.

> I hope they all hate me forever and ever.

NeroFas Yesterday at 9:07 PM

> Oh they are so stupid for not bringing their phones

Luminifera Yesterday at 9:07 PM

> I hope they don't want to be friends with me anymore

[[Luminifera I hope they all hate me forever and ever.]]

NeroFas Yesterday at 9:08 PM

> You don't actually want that

Luminifera Yesterday at 9:08 PM

> I don't. I'll be very sad. but that will help. the sadder i am, the easier it will be to further convince myself that I should die

> so I'll be less scared of it.

> why is that my plan, nero?

> why do I want to die?

> my family will be devastated.

> ohhhhh but I'm sure rebeka hates me. for sure now.

> she never liked me. now she hates me I bet.

> unfortunately that solves nothing. if the others don't hate me too.

> my friend's brother's friends were very nice to me.

Luminifera Yesterday at 9:10 PM

> rebeka is super upset. I'm scared.

> I'm scared.

NeroFas Yesterday at 9:10 PM

> I think you still mentally only opérate with the perspective of things not being ok

> So you have to convince yourself they're not ok

[[NeroFas I think you still mentally only opérate with the perspective of things not being ok So you have to convince]]

NeroFas Yesterday at 9:10 PM

> And then maybe you make things worse lol

Luminifera Yesterday at 9:10 PM

> why did I run away. it's worse now. oh god.

> I'm scared.

NeroFas Yesterday at 9:11 PM

> See i think you crave things to be bad

Luminifera Yesterday at 9:11 PM

> I'm really really scared

NeroFas Yesterday at 9:11 PM

> Of what?

Luminifera Yesterday at 9:11 PM

> I should have just walked into the sea

> I'm scared of her.

NeroFas Yesterday at 9:11 PM

> Why

Luminifera Yesterday at 9:11 PM

> I don't know

> she is profoundly scary

> I have snot all over my face.

> from all the crying.

NeroFas Yesterday at 9:11 PM

> Why don't you apologize to her and say you've been overwhelmed

Luminifera Yesterday at 9:12 PM

> bc that will fix nothing.

NeroFas Yesterday at 9:12 PM

> It will make you less afraid of her

> Try talking to her

Luminifera Yesterday at 9:12 PM

> it will make them all even more mad at me.

> especially her.

NeroFas Yesterday at 9:12 PM

> No it won't lol

> She might not be nice but they will not be mad at you

Luminifera Yesterday at 9:13 PM

> my friend is sick. she has a very sore throat. she had a fever for the past two days. she prescribed herself antibiotics and bought them today though

> but then she went out in the rain to look for me. with no jacket.

> she's all wet and it's my fault. she will get sicker.

> it's my fault

> they want to call my mother.

> they'll tell her.

> my mom will be super worried

> well, fuck that. my mom is fucking stupid. I'm kind of fed up with her.

[[NeroFas She might not be nice but they will not be mad at you]]

Luminifera Yesterday at 9:14 PM

> they are and will be even madder at me

> bc I did this to them. I ran away. and so they went out looking for me

[[Luminifera but then she went out in the rain to look for me. with no jacket.]]

NeroFas Yesterday at 9:16 PM

> Aw she cares about you

> Lumi it's ok to walk away you're an adult

> This isn't running away this is taking a walk

Luminifera Yesterday at 9:17 PM

> no. I didn't tell anyone I was going.

> they were very worried.

> I have decided. I will tell them what I did. and why (to the best of my abilities).

> I don't know why I'm so scared of rebeka. I have no idea. but it is a very real fear.

> when the missing people come back.

> which I hope they do soon.

> my head hurts.

[[NeroFas Lumi it's ok to walk away you're an adult]]

Luminifera Yesterday at 9:19 PM

> I told myself this.

> I think I'm now going to be an adult with no friends.

> it's what I deserve.

[[Luminifera it's what I deserve.]]

NeroFas Yesterday at 9:21 PM

> See, you crave things to be bad

> Deny yourself and let them be good

Luminifera Yesterday at 9:55 PM

> they won't be good.

> they don't want to be my friends anymore.

> they think I had a childish attitude.

> I think... I think they don't understand.

> what it's like. to be terrified.

> incredibly enough, it appears that my friend's brother and his friends understood.

> some of them. his girlfriend looked me in the eyes and said she definitely understood me.

> she's only 21.

> he also looked like he got it.

> I think they're depressed too. they must know what it's like.

> I think I had a psychotic break.

> back to the blackboard. drawing the plan to kill myself.

> nero, I know I sabotage myself. I'm sorry.

> I feel like writing letters.

> I'm so sorry for my self, even. this person... she could be someone amazing

> if only someone else lived inside her.

> she could have been so happy...

> you hate me too, right?

NeroFas Yesterday at 10:01 PM

> No lol, and if that's an indicator of your "other ppl hate me" it might not be very accurate haha

Luminifera Yesterday at 10:01 PM

> but my friends DO hate me now. I'm sure of it

> they don't want to be my friends anymore.

> they say it's not my person that they don't like. it's my attitudes

NeroFas Yesterday at 10:01 PM

> I doooo think you had something go on today

> A break down of some kind

> Maybe your therapist can help make sense of it

Luminifera Yesterday at 10:01 PM

> they don't understand that it makes no difference.

> and that it's in fact worse.

> because no matter what I do... how good I try to be... I can try my best.

> my attitudes are never enough.

[[NeroFas Maybe your therapist can help]]

Luminifera Yesterday at 10:02 PM

> I don't deserve therapy

NeroFas Yesterday at 10:03 PM

> You are trying to sabotage yourself again lol

Luminifera Yesterday at 10:03 PM

> I will go see her. my therapist.

> and tell her all of this.

[[NeroFas You are trying to sabotage yourself again lol]]

Luminifera Yesterday at 10:03 PM

> losing my friends was part of it.

> nero. I'm scared.

> I'm scared that I really am going to kill myself.

> I don't want to die

> help me

> I don't know what to do

> I'm scared...

> I'm scared. I'm scared.

> I miss olive.

NeroFas Yesterday at 10:05 PM

> What did he say in times like this?

Luminifera Yesterday at 10:09 PM

> I don't know.

> he always knew how to calm me down.

> I'm very scared and there's nothing I can do. no running anymore. I'm stuck in a car with them.

> they hate me.

> nero, I don't understand. help me understand.

> they went out in the rain looking for me. they were worried. but they weren't happy to find me. they were just very angry. they think I was childish.

> I don't understand if they care about me or not.

> she said it was a loss of trust.

> what I did.

> that she can't trust me if I'll run away after any fight or disagreement.

> does that mean they cared about me, but now they don't anymore?

> I don't understand.

Luminifera Yesterday at 10:20 PM

> I feel like... it's like what olive felt.

> like I'm too much work.

> they don't want to feel responsible for me anymore. just like he did.

> so they drop me.

> they don't care if that makes me worE.

> worse*. in the end, only my family will remain

> if I kill myself, will they care?

> will they feel bad for having dropped me.

> I don't think so.

> I think they would be relieved.

> that they didn't have to watch me die.

> that they did a good thing by leaving me. because i was a lost cause.

[[Luminifera they went out in the rain looking for me. they were worried. but they weren't happy to find me. they were]]

NeroFas Yesterday at 10:22 PM

> They do care about you but they were frustrated

[[Luminifera that they did a good thing by leaving me. because i was a lost cause.]]

NeroFas Yesterday at 10:24 PM

> You make up awful stories about your friends unu

> Sorry I'm not more helpful by the way

Luminifera Yesterday at 10:27 PM

> I want to run away again. far away.

> and just... be alone...

> nero

> I think

> subconsciously

> I didn't think they were good friends to me.

NeroFas Yesterday at 10:28 PM

> Maybe not the people for you. You don't like party people

Luminifera Yesterday at 10:28 PM

> so when I weighed it... the pros and cons. I did it unconsciously I'm sure of it. I always weigh everything.

> I knew they would be angry

> I knew it and I thought it was worth it

> they act like of course they wouldn't just leave me

NeroFas Yesterday at 10:29 PM

> You wanted it maybe

Luminifera Yesterday at 10:29 PM

> but I really, really thought they would.

> leave without me.

NeroFas Yesterday at 10:29 PM

> I still think your unconscious is your bully

Luminifera Yesterday at 10:30 PM

> she is very mean to me. but she wants me to survive. she's concerned for my safety.

> I like the song that's playing right now.

> it's about time.

> a beautiful brazilian song from the 80s.

> listen when you can, if you want. Tempo Perdido - Legiao Urbana

> I was surprised with the gentleness with which my friend's brother's friends treated me.

> the kindness they showed.

> I had not expected them to care about me, in the least. literally. thought they wouldn't care at all

[[NeroFas I still think your unconscious is your bully]]

Luminifera Yesterday at 10:35 PM

> no. the bully is in my consciousness.

> my subconscious is just worried about my safety.

> my subconscious... is the victim.

> she's the part of me that constantly victimizes herself... because it's all she knows.

> if there's no abuser... she makes one up.

NeroFas Yesterday at 10:42 PM

> Why do you want to be the victim

Luminifera Yesterday at 10:42 PM

> I don't think I want to

NeroFas Yesterday at 10:42 PM

> I wonder if it's bc you were raised by someone like that

Luminifera Yesterday at 10:42 PM

> I think she doesn't know how to be someone else.

NeroFas Yesterday at 10:42 PM

> Like I have no reason to be nervous about the things my mom is nervous about

> And yet I am

Luminifera Yesterday at 10:45 PM

> so she always reverts to that. it's what she knows.

> yes. having being raised by the victim: "this is the blueprint. this is how to be."

> my grandma is not like that. I wonder what happened to my mom.

> I have a feeling... a want. to be totally honest and open with my grandma when I arrive.

> ah, it won't come true.

> she will be asleep.

> and when I wake up tomorrow... I will be shy again.

> nero, can I ask you to help me with it?

> tell me to do it. to open up with her.

> she will tell and the whole family will know, but...

> you know what? I'm so tired of this game of pretending.

> pretending everything's fine.

NeroFas Yesterday at 10:48 PM

> You should definitely tell her about your feelings and experience

Luminifera Yesterday at 10:48 PM

> this stupid game that my family likes to play

> I think it's ridiculous.

> we're not strangers. we're family. we're supposed to help and support each other, not gossip and judge each other! of course some gossip and judging is unavoidable, and that's ok. but it shouldn't be the focus, never!

> I will tell her this, too.

> I'm not fine.

> I'm really really struggling. my whole life is changing... so fast.

> I feel like I am awakening. like I was just born.

> "oh, my life... is changing every day... in every possible way."

[[Luminifera I didn't think they were good friends to me.]]

Luminifera Yesterday at 10:55 PM

> now that I think on it...

> I have been thinking that for a while.

> a good while!

> I told my friend that I was hesitant to go on this trip with them. because I was already scared of rebeka.

> she said it would be fine, she doesn't dislike me, it'll be fun etc

> then I was worried about the food. bc I know I'm... particular about what I eat.

> then I was worried about sleeping.

[[Luminifera I feel like I am awakening. like I was just born.]]

NeroFas Yesterday at 10:59 PM

> That's kind of awesome tbh

[[Luminifera I told my friend that I was hesitant to go on this trip with them. because I was already scared of rebeka.]]

NeroFas Yesterday at 11:00 PM

> Aw you should not have gone

> (Is ok to run away and cry sometimes I just did that too)

Luminifera Yesterday at 11:16 PM

> I slept just fine. I ate the food, didn't enjoy it, but I didn't starve. I managed to have some fun some of the time.

> but in the end, it was my fear. of people. I didn't feel comfortable around them, that's the truth of it, and that's what made this happen. that's it.

> anyway. perhaps... perhaps I am a very perceptive person and rebeka does have something in her for me to be scared about. or perhaps I'm just insane.

> probably both!

> I will write letters to them: my friend's brother and his friends. and my male friend's boyfriend, edson.

> they were kind to me. actually, Edson was the only one who reacted like what I now think I would have reacted too, had I been in their place instead... angry and upset, yes, but also very relieved. firm and stern about "never do that again! you shouldn't have done that!", but also making a little joke about how he went looking for me, and he hugged me before leaving.

[[NeroFas (Is ok to run away and cry sometimes I just did that too)]]

Luminifera Yesterday at 11:17 PM

> you just ran away to cry?

> what happened?

> tell me, I want to help if I can

Luminifera Yesterday at 11:24 PM

> it's okay if you don't want to open up.

> I understand that people like me don't seem capable of listening... and being helpful.

> because we're so fragile

NeroFas Yesterday at 11:25 PM

> Oh i just had a bad day and something stupid set me off

Luminifera Yesterday at 11:25 PM

> tell me about it?

[redacted]

[[NeroFas Obviously I am also bothered by your day but don't feel bad for telling me]]

Luminifera Yesterday at 11:34 PM

> I feel like I'm going to be alright.

> I'm not going to die.

> I'm going to live!

> I'm going to make friends.

> other friends.

> somehow. I'll find people for me.

> people who want me in their lives... people who don't make me feel like an afterthought?

> people who don't think mental illness is childish.

> I'm glad neither of those friends want to be psychiatrists anymore. they used to, you know?

> I think I'll be a great one. if i do go that route.

> maybe that's my fate, and this is why I suffer so much: because my future patients need me to understand their pain.

> that would make a beautiful story, wouldn't it?

Luminifera Yesterday at 11:46 PM

> I'm home.

Luminifera Yesterday at 11:55 PM

> just looked in the mirror.

> despite everything, it's still me.

> I am myself.

[[Luminifera people who want me in their lives... people who don't make me feel like an afterthought?]]

NeroFas Today at 12:07 AM

> They are out there

> But I'm thinking you're just trying to make me feel better

Luminifera Today at 12:36 AM

> hmm?

[redacted]

Luminifera Today at 12:37 AM

> I spent some time on youtube just now. distracting my mind a bit

> now it's time to shower and sleep.

> I am hungry, but I also feel nauseous.

NeroFas Today at 12:39 AM

> I'm cooking

> Frying tofu for my friend

Luminifera Today at 1:21 AM

> spent more time on my phone...

> now I really don't need it.

[[NeroFas Frying tofu for my friend]]

Luminifera Today at 1:22 AM

> looks yummy!

> I miss eating yummy food

[[Luminifera now I really don't need it.]]

NeroFas Today at 1:32 AM

> Don't need what ?

Luminifera Today at 1:52 AM

> to spend time on my phone.

> didn't need to be distracted anymore.

> I am thinking out at length about what to write to my friends.

> can I send it to you eventually? so you can tell me what you think

> it's okay if you don't want to

> I don't want to pester you

Nero Fas Today at 1:57 AM

> How will you send them to them? And sure

Luminifera Today at 2:05 AM

> i was thinking about writing and sending them as actual letters

> would make it more meaningful and would also mean I'd have to double and triple and quadruple check my words.

Luminifera Today at 12:44 PM

> hello

> I woke up. my mom is here too. :)

> grandma is making lunch.

> I feel better.

> oh, you should definitely adopt a dog if you dreamed about it!!!

> I forgot what I dreamed about tonight.

Luminifera Today at 1:47 PM

> feeling nervous.

Luminifera Today at 2:00 PM

> anxious...

Luminifera Today at 2:39 PM

> my tummy hurts from it. the anxiety.

> do you think I should tell my grandma about how it was?

> it's like I swallowed all these feelings and now they're bubbling up in my stomach, wanting to come back up.

Luminifera Today at 2:51 PM

> I feel absolutely defeated

Luminifera Today at 3:02 PM

> I feel like my friends don't know what it's like to be in fear

> they didn't understand

> I don't know what they think of me

> but they don't think the truth

> they didnt... they didn't see... they saw something else... I couldn't make myself understood...

> I want to run away from all of this... not them and that specific situation. but this world. this society. I don't understand it. I'm scared of it. I don't want to live in it.

> it's scary.

[scoups4lyfe]

Journal Entries. (2)

These are all mood journal entries (so super short / concise) of mine; where I chart my daily moods over a period of time.

These chronicle the time right before I scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist (March) and when I started medication (antidepressants) for my depression / fatigue.

NOTE: These don't contain any long thoughts, literally just mood observations. But I think it does a pretty good job at showing just how inconsistent and sudden mood episodes / switching can be, and why they're so debilitating for trying to live a normal everyday life. I added some gifs / pictures for rando visuals LOL. Truly complete the reading experience 🤪.

Part: [1], [2], [3], [4] Bipolar PPT Essay: [1], [2], [3], [4], [5], [6]

...

March 27th, 2021

Slept: 4am. Woke: 4pm

Mood: 2/10 Energy: Neutral (Maybe a 2/10)

I just feel empty. Like I need to go hibernate/go back to sleep. I’m not hungry. I’m not particularly motivated, and I kind of wish my sister would sit down and watch Hannibal with me and my mom, so it bums me out that she continues to put that off/ignore it.

I’m tired, man. It’s 8:21 pm, and I’m already thinking about going back to bed. When my family hangs out, I can be mindless and just let their good mood and entertainment take over. Other than that, I don’t feel particularly interested in doing anything, though I know I should. I have things to do. I don’t even feel bad about not doing anything. Just empty. Just ready to sleep.

March 28/29th, 2021:

:(

NOTE: Visual reference of what I looked like during this time

March 30th, 2021:

Bed: 6:30 pm. Woke: 4:30 am

Mood: -1/10

My mood can be directly related to how many gluten free brownies I’ve eaten today. (Thee ONLY thing I’ve eaten too might I add.) (it’s 5pm)

…

[Started taking meds]

Tuesday July 6th 2021 (6:03 pm) (12th)

NOTE: The number next to the date is the number of days since I started taking medication

took meds (YES)

I was kinda so depressed from the doctor’s visit and loss of money that even with the meds, it couldn’t stop me from sleeping. LOL.

Thursday July 8th 2021 (12:10 pm) (14th)

took meds: yes

I had enough energy to watch [my niece]

I had enough energy to have a mental breakdown.

Tuesday July 13th 2021 (19th)

took meds: yes (4:44 pm)

I feel so tired…fatigued….

Thursday, July 15th 2021 (21st)

took meds: yes (2:47)

Slept four hours

Overall energy: 3/10

Mood:4.5:10

Napped for three hours, had dinner + caffeinated tea and I feel shaky-awake.

Bruh I did not sleep (for the 16th) at all 💀💀💀.

Friday, July 16th, 2021 (22nd)

took meds: yes (12:06pm)

Haha going to bed right after I took my meds 😛🤷

Friday July 23rd, 2021 (31st)

took meds: yes (11:12 am)

This week idk. It’s been weird? Like tired and then also hyper fixated on nonsense =DD.

Why (2:40 pm) am I so tired? Don’t want to do anything.

(Currently Saturday morning, 6;22 am and I can’t sleep. I’m NOT tired. But I want to sleep.)

This is the WORST.

Saturday July 24th, 2021 (32nd)

took meds: 7:21 pm

I feel wired and tired and just like I can’t do anything even tho I have the energy to

Sunday July 25th, 2021 (33rd)

took meds: yes (11:26 am)

I know I woke up at 8pm today, but man I really don’t want to do SHIT. (And after drinking that nasty ass fiber supplement, I’m feeling tired =o. When will this insanity end?)

Tuesday July 27th 2021 (35th)

took meds: yes (10:04 am)

Mood (10:07 am): 7/10

Energy (10:07 am): 6.7/10

Wednesday July 28th 2021 (36th)

took meds: yes (4:23pm)

Literally went to sleep at 1am and woke up at 4:15 pm. Wtf? (I slept 16hrs LOL)

Mood (6:03 pm): 6.5/10

Energy (6:03 pm): 7.2/10

Today was a good day, I got more work done than yesterday :)).

(3:19, Thursday am): laid down and tried to sleep but now I feel more awake than ever.

Thursday July 29th 2021 (37th)

took meds: yes (4:29 pm)

Went to bed last night at 8am, woke up at 4:33 pm. (I hate not being able to fall asleep. Is it because I slept for 16 hrs the previous night? #sucks.)

Mood (7:44 pm): 7.5/10

Energy: (7:44 pm): 6.4/10

Friday July 30th 2021 (38th)

took meds: yes (8:15 pm)

I almost forgot to take them today ahhhhhh

Mood: 6/10

Energy: 6.7/10

Saturday July 31st 2021 (39th)

I have plenty of energy (I haven’t taken my meds yet) and yet I feel like I’m going insane. I. Can’t do anything right. Why why why why why must I continue to be a failure? I had something good going for me wtf is wrong with me? I don’t want to wake up anymore

Took meds: yes (11:44 am)

(Slept till 9pm, it’s 8:22 am Sunday and I’m still awake. But on the plus side I’m not careening dangerously into another mental breakdown.,,yet)

Sunday August 1st 2021 (40th)

took meds: yes (12:17 pm)

I haven’t slept yet today

General mood: hmmm 5/10 (12:18pm)

I do feel a little tired but that’s probably because I’ve been up since 9pm.

Generally tho I’m feeling pretty okay. (Guess we’ll see how the rest of today goes lol.)

[Prev] [Next]

[kywaslost]

Hi! I just finished reading your ninjago grief comfort AND I REALLY LOVED IT!!! I love how you write the boys and the characters all together 💕 looking forward for the next part! I hope you have a lovely day/night!!

Ninjago Grief Comfort Pt. 2 Jay

A/N: Hey guys! So sorry for the long wait. I haven’t been writing nearly as often as I used to, but I’ve been feeling creative lately, so here’s part 2 to the Ninjago comfort!

You don’t remember falling asleep. You remember plugging your phone in around 11 pm and then finding the perfect asmr around 11:40. Then you must have fallen asleep. Now you were sitting upright in your bed, sobbing. Something had woken you up. Whether it was a dream or a sound, you weren’t sure. All you knew was that it was hard to breathe, and you wanted your brother. No, you needed him. You had terrible nightmares when your mom died, and Cole always tried to calm you down whenever he was around. 

You gripped the collar of your shirt and tugged at it, trying to make it easier to breathe. Sobs wracked your body as you gasped for breath. There was a soft knock at the door as it opened slowly. You jumped at the sound and quickly turned to the door. You saw a head of red hair poke into your room and then tired blue eyes immediately met your own. 

“Y/N? Are you ok?” Jay asked worriedly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. “What happened? I could hear you from our room.” The blue ninja slowly stepped toward you, holding his hands out in front of him. “Can I touch you?”

You nodded aggressively, falling into Jay’s arms for a tight hug as he sat down on the bed. Jay held you tightly, one hand on your head and the other rubbing your back. “Can you breathe for me, please? We don’t need you passing out now. Cause if you pass out then I’ll freak out and then–”

“Jay!” you gasped, gripping his shirt. “Please, stop.” The man let out a soft chuckle, holding you tighter.

“I’m sorry, you know I ramble.” The boy breathed deeply in hopes of calming your own breathing. He let you do what you needed to calm down. He let you bury your head in his neck. He let you soak the collar of his nightshirt with your tears. He let you take his hand and squeeze it as hard as you needed to. Eventually, you calmed down and your tears ceased. Your breathing slowed and staggered less. As Jay felt your hands loosen their grip on his shirt and hand, he pulled away slightly.

“What happened Y/N?” he asked quietly, moving hair out of your face.

You sniffed, wiping at your eyes with your sleeve. “Um, I think I may have had a nightmare? I don’t remember, to be honest.” You sat back on the bed, sitting criss-cross. You looked down at your entangled hands, embarrassed. “Um, has, has Cole come back yet?” You looked at Jay with hopeful eyes. 

His eyes softened, “I’m sorry. He’s not back yet.”

You looked away, wiping your eyes again. “No, it’s ok. I shouldn’t have expected any differently. You can go back to bed now.” Despite your words, Jay stayed still.

“Listen Y/N,” Jay said softly. “Cole told me about how you were after your mom passed. About the nightmares, I mean.” Your eyes widened in fear as you looked up at him. Before you could say anything, Jay spoke again. “I know, I know, I should know these things but look, maybe I can be of some help.” He reached out and grabbed your hands. “Cole told me that you can’t really sleep after these nightmares and that you prefer to not be alone.”

“Yeah, well,” you said quickly. “That was a while ago. I’ve gotten over it.”

“Oh, ok,” Jay responded. “Well, would you maybe feel more comfortable in the gaming room? I know you said you can handle yourself, but maybe some company could help?”

“That, that actually sounds nice,” you muttered. You grabbed a small blanket behind you and slid off the bed, following Jay across the hall to the gaming room. He turned on the table lamp and flopped onto the couch, offering you the spot next to him. You took his offer, then buried yourself under your blanket as Jay flipped through the different streaming services.

“What would you like to watch?” he asked with a yawn. You shrugged in response.

“It doesn’t matter to me. Whatever you want is fine.”

Jay let out an airy laugh. “How about (favorite movie)?”

You smiled softly. “Yeah, sounds nice.” As Jay turned on the movie and got comfortable, you settled into his side. 

“Just like old times, yeah?” he asked with a smile.

“Sure is.” You yawned, and before you knew it, you’d fallen asleep. 

“What happened last night?” The voice was foggy as you were waking up, yet choosing to fake sleep and keep listening. “It didn’t sound good whatever it was.”

“Ever since her mom died she’d get pretty bad nightmares.” You felt something under you vibrate softly with the voice. Did you fall asleep on Jay? “Cole told me about them ages ago. I think that’s what happened last night.”

A new voice spoke. “Is she ok?”

“Yeah, I think she’s ok now.” You felt a hand rest on the small of your back. “Us and Cole would watch movies together every now and then, so I brought her in here to do just that.”

“I feel so bad for her. She really needs her brother.” Was it Lloyd and Kai here with you too?

“Yeah, well, Cole has a different way of coping. Lloyd and I are going up to breakfast. Join us when she wakes?”

“Sure will.” With that, you heard footsteps leaving the room. When you were sure the other two were gone, you opened your eyes and sat up.

“Oh, good morning,” Jay smiled up at you. You were right, you had fallen asleep on him. “Sleep ok?”

You rubbed the sleep from your eyes. “Yeah, yeah I did. Thanks.” You looked around. “Who was just in here?”

Jay sat up as well. “Oh, you were awake for that? Sorry,” he chuckled softly and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. “I hope we didn’t wake you up. It was just Kai and Lloyd. They wanted to know if you were ok. They heard you last night too.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you said quietly, bowing your head. Without another word you stood up, draped your blanket over your shoulders, and walked towards the door. “I’m going to go to my room now.”

“Wait!” Jay called after you. “Don’t be sorry. We all struggle with nightmares, we get it.”

“I know,” you responded. “I’m just sorry.” You walked across the hall to your room.

“What about breakfast?”

“I’m not hungry.” With that, you closed your door and fell back onto your bed.

[m-jelly]

HELLO JELLY 👋 😼

first of all, CONGRATULATIONS ON REACHING 2K!! you deserve it 💘 here’s to many more 000000’s 😆

anyway i have a req, it’s basically inspired from a text i read a few days back. it’s basically about reader texting levi w smtg that starts w “i’ve been thinking…” and then she was gonna say “we should go on a date or something” but that message didn’t go through because of wifi problem or something (?) but then the next message which is something like “i’m feeling tired and i need a break” went through. so it was basically just a misunderstanding. what she meant was she was gonna ask levi on a date to help release her stress but levi misunderstood. he got scared and thought that the reader wanted to break up w him so he began flooding her w messages n voicemails and all. no need to mention my name, thank you~

i hope this is not too confusing. my english sucks. it’s 11:40 pm here and i’m in desperate need of sleep so my brain is barely working 😅 jelly, thank you in advance and congrats again!! 💕

Thank you so much! I still love your profile picture <3

4) I've been thinking...

Texts.

You: I've been thinking

You: We should go on a date or something - MESSAGE FAILED

You: I’m feeling tired and I need a break.

You: I'm going into a meeting, so I won't be available in a bit.

Voicemail

Levi: *whimpers your name* I'm so sorry! Please don't leave me. Please. I'll do anything to keep us together. I will.

If you're tired of me, then maybe we can switch things up! I'll take you on as many dates as you desire. We'll go to big social events if you want? I'll show more public displays of affection as well. I'll hold you and kiss you in public more often.

I'll do more surprises as well. I want you to be happy. I want to give you things you desire and need.

I love you. You're the love of my life. I will never love anyone the way I love you. I want to marry you and have kids. I made marriage plans and everything. I even bought a ring. I was going to ask you to marry me.

Please, call me back.

Call

You: Levi?

Levi: *shouts your name* Did you get my voicemail? I'm so sorry! I want to fix this!

You: Levi, I am so sorry.

Levi: No...no please.

You: Wait! *Sigh* Levi, my phone fucked up. I'm so sorry! I sent a message after I've been thinking. I was asking if you wanted to go on a date because I'm tired and need a break.

*silence*

You: Levi I'm so damn sorry! I sent it all in a rush before my meeting! I'll show you my phone when I get home. I don't want to break up at all. I love you so much. Levi, I'm really fucking sorry.

Levi: So...you don't want to leave me?

You: Hell no! I want to be with you for the rest of my life! I adore you! You're the love of my life. I love you so much.

Levi: I love you too...so I can keep you?

You: *sniff* Yes! Yes, you can keep me! Me and you forever.

Levi: Yeah! You and me forever. I want you so much. Can I come to your work and see you? I need to hold you and kiss you.

You: Yes! Yes, please! Oh, and Levi?

Levi: Yeah?

You: Do you really want to marry me?

Levi: I do. I want you to be my Mrs Ackerman, now and forever.

You: I want that too.

Levi: I'm coming to see you now. I love you!

You: I love you too Levi!

Select the link to take part in the 2K event

[ushiwakaout]

can i plsplspls have the things you believe hq boys would say for atsumu 👉👈

yes yes! i love me some atsumu 🥺

Things I believe Atsumu Miya (Timeskip MSBY pro volleyball player) would say if you lived with him (from the moment you wake up to the moment you fall asleep) painter! y/n

“Baby, Baby- come on wake up. I got early practice, you know i don’t know how to cook” (5:00 am)

“Baby come on, I’ll make you breakfast later.”

“No? Oh you’re up.”

“What do you mean you don’t like my breakfast, i thought ya loved my cooking.”

“we’ve been together how long? and ya lied to me?!”

“I’ve been telling eveyone that my cooking is great! This is your fault.”

“No shoo, go make me my breakfast.”

“No you don’t get morning kisses.”

“Will ya stop ya whining if i kiss ya?”

“Alright shut up now and get to cookin”

*Will slap your ass, way too hard for 5:30 in the morning*

“I got early practice tonight, thanks for making me food.”

*will wrap his arms around you as you cook*

“Smells good.”

“No the food, ya smell stinky.”

“I’m kidding, i’m kidding. You smell like you.”

“What’cha mean? ya smell like, soap and a clean bed”

“Yes baby, it’s a good thing.”

“Now give me my food and go back to sleep.”

“I’ll clean up.”

*will let you know when he goes to practice and let’s you sleep again*

“Pst.... baby, wakey wakey. It’s morning.” (10:00 am)

“I got breakfast.... don’t worry ya little head, i got it from the bakery.”

“How’d ya sleep. Good? That’s good baby.”

“You got paintings you gotta finish, get to work.”

“Come on you big baby, get up.”

*Will carry you to the bathroom and will strip you bc he needs to shower too*

“Stop squirmin’ - i’m washing you’re head and i’ll get soap in ya eyes.”

“My turn.”

“Massage my scalp harder, harder- okay chill, that’s good.”

“Now hurry up and dry up, you got work to do.”

* WILL SLAP YOUR BARE ASS and will apologize later bc he left a mark*

“I’ll leave you to it then, i’m gonna be in the room, if you need me.” (11:00 am)

*Will walk in and walk out of your studio just to check up on you*

“Need anything? No? Okay.”

“Just checking in, i got you some water.”

“Hey baby, you hungry yet? Ya want lunch?!”

*Will hold you while you paint*

“What do you want for lunch?”

“You want me to order it or pick up? or do you wanna come with me?”

*will start kissing your neck and get you to face him so he can start making out with you*

*it’s very messy, will put you on a table with FRESH PAINT and get it all over you*

sex in the art studio

red paint hand prints on your ass, hips, neck.

“You should keep working on yer painting, i’ll go get the food.” (12:40 pm)

*will tap your hips/thighs/ass before walking out as if NOTHING HAPPENED*

*meanwhile you’re catching you’re fucking breath bc wow... the stamina that man has*

“I’m back... Feel alright?” (2:00 pm)

“I got you some onigiri.”

“Again? what you mean again? It’s free!”

“Shut it, you love Osamus cookin.”

“What do you love more? Me or Osamu?”

“Did you just say Osamu- REALLY?! Really? after we just made love for hours? You tell me this now?”

“Give me back that Onigiri.”

“Come back here!”

“Did ya really need to lock yourself in the art studio? Let me in” (2:30 pm)

“What art piece are you working on?”

“Ah.... mhm, mhm...”

“No i don’t remember what you just said.”

“Keep on working, i’ll check up on you later.”

“Nevermind, i’m lonely- I’m gonna keep ya company.”

“Give me some paint, i wanna paint.”

“Look! I made a fox.”

“Oh hold on, Bokuto is calling.”

“Do you mind if the guys come over?”

“Yes even Sakusa.”

“You never clean, why you gotta clean for him?” (3:30 pm)

*very jealous of the fact that you and sakusa get along very well*

“Sakusa hands off my partner” (4:30 pm)

“Bokuto you too!”

“Hinata, I’m eyeing ya too.”

“Get over here, and sit next to me.”

“Hold my hand.”

“Because i said so.”

“Shut it, Sakusa!”

“No, no, i’m not drunk.” (6:00 pm)

“What’d you mean they should sleep over.”

“But baby~ Night time is our time.”

“OW! Don’t hit me.”

“Y’all are sleeping in the spare.”

“Stop babying Sakusa he’s a grown man!”

“I said hands off my partner Hinata!”

“Baby~ stop babying my teammates and come here!” (7:30 pm)

“What do you mean i smell.”

“No come here, give me a kiss.”

“No, no, no don’t check up with them, come here.”

“Just come cuddle with me.”

“Hey, am i good enough for ya?”

“You sure? Do i give ya enough love?”

“Don’t shit with me alright, you sure i’m good enough?”

“Come here, give me a kiss.”

“You’re more than good enough for me.”

“Please don’t leave me for Osamu, i know it’s a joke just... I cant imagine my life without ya, ya know?”

“Stupid Osamu, i’m proud of him too. But don’t praise him either!” (9:00 pm)

“Do you wanna get some dessert?”

“So what if it’s late, i’m hungry.”

“Fuck em, i just wanna go with you.”

“Hold my hand.”

“You cold? Here just wear my hoodie. I think i’m still a little tipsy.”

“I swear i’ll fight a kid if he doesn’t hurry up.”

“Hold me back baby, i will fight this kid! he just mouthed piss hair to me!”

“Oh shit it’s the pap, come on hurry up, let’s go.”

“No, no- You got the wrong twin, i’m osamu. Yeah sorry about that.”

“I’m glad i brought a cap”

“Give me some of your dessert.”

“Here have some of mine, say Ah.”

“Don’t be stupid, and hold my hand, we’re crossing the road.”

*Will give you a piggy back ride home*

*you will fall asleep on him*

*wwe match when you guys get home and throws you on the bed to wake you up bc he’s such an asshole*

“It’s your fault you fell asleep on me.”

“Arms up, i’ll put on your pjs.”

“No pjs? Alright, we sleep in the nude tonight.”

*you sleep on his chest*

“God i’m so lucky to have you, you know?”

Extras:

*will fuck you awake and has a hand over your mouth bc he remembers half way that half his team is in the other room*

“Y’all are lucky, y/n has such a talent for cooking”

“Sakusa, you don’t get breakfast.”

“You hear nothing, hinata!”

*pinches your ass in public*

“OSAMU STOP TALKING TO MY S/O”

“Osamu give y/n some onigiri, she’s picking up my lunch.”

“MY BABY IS HERE” *runs to you mid practice*

“No bokuto you don’t get to hug her.”

“Back off Sakusa!”

*will bark*

“Stop telling people i use lemon shampoo bc i have blonde hair.”

“Wait i thought i had a manicure appointment today- did i miss it?”

“Shave down my nails will ya? I always mess up.”

“Get your black nail polish away from me, i want the clear one.”

*will bite you to get your attention*

*will show off his manicure to kageyama if he ever bumps into him*

A/N: Thank you guys for 300 followers 🥺🥳

[summercurial]

omg!!!! just had a really good like....24 hr date. okay so his name is mark he's really handsome (he kind of looks like jamie dornan? ill ask him if i can post a pic sometime) and he's about my height and hes got big biceps and hairy arms and stubble and...omg he's jsut...very attractive. i really like looking at his face. he's a broker at his dad's like, finance comapny, a bit of a cringe nepotism moment but glass houses, also like. who is he disadvantaging, other finance dudes? who care. so anyway. he has a bunch of money ha. he has a nice apartment to his self and a bunch of fancy shit.

i came over at 1, we watched some netflix (i think u should leave) and drank some white claw and talked a bunch. he's into drugs and esp psychadelics. we had a really fun time talking. he talked about his 3 yr gf he broke up with 3 months ago. he cried a little. she was an alcoholic and like super shitty and manipulative. and lied all the time. i feel like it should have made me uncomfortable but it didnt. it was sweet sort of? idk. i hugged him. we disclosed a bunch of shit. i told him abt my friends i have sex with.

we had so much fun talking. he ordered chipotle. we cuddle a bunch. eventually we kissed and it was...so good. there's like, a force to it, like youre trying to become a single person. my favorite kind. he paints! his paintings are pretty good! he sells them for thousands of dollars! he has some bunnies, but theyre gonna be gone soon, cuz his girlfriend is taking them with her (she's been moved out for months, but she hasnt gotten all her shit). he showed me the holy mountain, altho we got distracted idk, 40 minutes in. he showed me a bunch of the weird metal and psychadelic music he likes. we talked about our neurotic parents. i had some amyl nitrite, which was really fun, and he gave me an adderall when i got sleepy. he fucked me a little but his dick is pretty long and i think it was pressing against the bend, we need to figure out a better angle. we took a shower then bath together. he called me a good girl a coupe times. sparse with it, the way my greed doesnt like but which counts so much more. i got some headpets/scritches. he's genuinely such a nice guy. anyway he invited me to sleep over and he did. he has a HUGE tv and it's on an arm so he can point it toward the couch or the bed. he has a bedroom but he doesnt use it for that, he uses it for painting and uses the mian room for his bed. at like 11 pm he wanted a smoothie but the smoothie place was closed so he doordashed a bunch of juice.

anyway in the morning i sucked his dick and he came in my mouth pretty quickly so i got to spend a lone time sucking on it in the afterglow, which i think he really liked! it was fun! we cuddled a bunch. we watched the entirety of casino! it was really good! i doordashed some vegetarian chicken nuggets. anyway now im back home. this is the best date ive been on in...i mean honestly maybe ever. it was great. im very happy. he's really into trans girls. he kept telling me how cute/gorgeous he thinks i am. it was so sweet... i mentioned im autistic and explained the flapping i do when he says something really nice. it was amazing

[dancingkirby]

The Sim(p)s GX Part 5: Sex, Babies, and UTTER DISASTER

...Not necessarily in that order.

WARNING: The usual sex references.

Taniya and Misawa finally had the excuse they needed to move into their own house. Although they were a little short on funds by the time it was completed.

The Welcome Wagon included Fubuki, who stood there creepily staring at the bedroom door while Taniya was sleeping.

Misawa got really angry at them; it appears that his Sim has some anger management problems. But later, he and Taniya danced to pop music and had sex twice in one night.

And then, the big day arrived: Taniya went into labor at 12:40 PM on a Thursday in-game. And that's where everything started to go wrong. Misawa had to come home early from work, Taniya set the kitchen on fire while making lunch, and everyone was constantly low on hygeine, low on energy, and generally pissed off. Misawa was a lousy birth partner, spending most of his time watching TV, and Taniya got so tired that she fell asleep in the bathtub.

And THEN, to top it all off, Misawa jerked off in the living room while Taniya was in the bedroom. Okay, game, you and I have to sit down and talk. I can tolerate quite a bit of OOCness for comedy's sake, but that was going a little far, don't you think? Kind of makes me want to work on that fic idea I had where Taniya had their second baby and Misawa tries his best to be supportive, even if he is a bit clueless about how to do this at times. But I should really finish Act 2 of Volatile Elements first.

Anna was born at around 11:30 PM Friday, because I chose the base game "have baby" option instead of the proper one for a home birth. I HC that Taniya pulled a Rhaenyra and said, "Fuck this, I'm doing it myself." Which is about the same as happened in my fanfic, really. At least she had a happier result than Rhaenyra did.

Now that that mess was all over, I checked in quickly with Judai's Harem again.

Sho: "Mwahaha. Everyone else is asleep, so the computer's ALL MINE."

And most of the rest of my time in this part was spent at Casa Tenjoume, trying to repair Manjoume and Asuka's relationship. At first my efforts seemed futile; Asuka even took a vacation day off from work when she was ovulating, only for them to spend the whole day bickering rather than baby-making! However, they finally got back into the green after a very productive conversation featuring Neo.

And things quickly got back on track in other ways too.

Now THAT is the kind of dynamic from this pairing that I like to see!

On his day off from work, Manjoume took Neo to the park, where they met up with Uncle Fubuki.

Then I checked in again with Misawa and Taniya while waiting for Asuka to reach the fertile part of her cycle. Taniya was hanging out at the police station chatting with Yubel.

And Misawa went to work, played chess with Kenzan, and got angry. Again.

Upon my return to Casa Tenjoume, Manjoume and Asuka got horny again. After making sure that Neo was safely asleep in bed, a flirty conversation in the kitchen led to some hot and steamy sex on the countertop. And...a pregnancy test right after was positive! Asuka finally got her wish.

Tune in next time as Asuka and Manjoume have their baby and decide to take their relationship to the next level. Also, another relationship gets a very intriguing (and unexpected) twist.

[pokemoncreepypasta]

Tommy Boy

[STORY SOURCE]

It was one of those sleepovers, just me and my bestie, when we got bored and had a dumb idea. Well, she got the brilliant idea anyways.

Apparently, she thought it would be “fun” to try and perform one of those summoning rituals, even though she knew anything and everything paranormal gave me nightmares for weeks. Which is why I think she wanted to do it so bad.

Of course, I wouldn’t willingly go along with the ritual, so my friend had to persuade me by offering her Darkrai plushie which I had coveted for a few weeks now. I remember wondering if the risk of eternal damnation was worth it for just a toy...

Apparently the answer was yes, since I eventually went along with this freaking idea.

The requirement for the ritual was paper, pencil, a candle, 6 random dolls, and 60 minutes of your time.

It had to be in a dark house, or in the middle of the night. We did it around midnight, after everyone else was asleep.

The first step was to put the 6 dolls in a circle.

Then draw a summoning circle on the middle of the paper and put it in the center of the circle of dolls.

After placing it on the floor, recite, “Any entity, you may enter.”

Wait for a while, around a minute, then prick your finger and put your bloody fingerprint in the middle of the summoning circle.

Recite, “By blood we are bound.”

You then turn off all the lights, if any are still left on, then light your candle and recite, “Whomever loses may never leave.”

Afterwards, you stumble around in the dark and play hide-and-seek with whatever you just summoned, if you even successfully summoned anything.

You must switch the room you’re hiding in every 10 minutes or else you will automatically be found by default. If you candle doesn’t blow out within and hour, then you win, and allegedly whatever spirit you summoned will be bound to your eternal service.

If it does blow out, then you’ve been found and you lose. Whatever happens afterwards depends on whatever spirit, peaceful or malevolent, that you summoned.

While me and my friend were huddled in the laundry room whispering and giggling about stupid things, the candle flickered out. I promptly flipped and hid in the corner with my hands over my head waiting for the worst to happen, while my friend laughed at pathetic little me.

After about five minutes of trying to convince me I wasn’t going to die, she told me she had blown out the candle herself. That made me feel a little better, even thought I still didn’t believe it.

Though, the Darkrai plushie I received the next day helped wash my worries away.

Though it wasn’t enough to wash away everything else that was about to happen.

Later on that day after my friend left, my little sister had begged me to let her play my Pokémon Emerald. I let her, since all she did was pretty much give free training to my Pokémon.

I was watching TV, and was a bit peeved when she ran into the room and started nagging me about a green Trapinch, so I waved her off. It took me a few seconds before I realized my grave mistake, so I quickly snatched my GameBoy back.

I was pleasantly surprised to see my sis had somehow managed to find a shiny Trapinch.

I told her to back off and let me handle this, since I wasn’t about to let her try to catch it. Although, things looked bad as my Pokémon were all too strong to weaken it.

But I was feeling confident with over 40 Ultra Balls in stock along with a few backups, so I kept throwing and throwing until one of them worked.

The trouble was, this stubborn Trapinch didn’t want me as its trainer. 

I might not have been able to weaken it, but it still chewed through nearly every one of my PokéBalls.

I was awash with horror at the thought of failing my first ever shiny. That’s when my sister offered to catch it for me.

I didn’t want to hand it over to her, but then my mind rationalized it by thinking that if she failed it, losing the Trapinch would be her fault, not mine.

I was shocked again as she handed me back the GameBoy less than a minute later with a brand new shiny Trapinch in my party named Tommy Boy.

The only response I could think of at first was, “Tommy Boy? Why name it that?”

“Because, it’s a boy and I wanted to name it Tommy, so Tommy Boy!”

I didn’t even want to know what went on in my sister’s head, but I quickly stopped caring and all I could do was just stare at my newfound shiny.

I went to immediately test him out and see what he could do against a wild Sandshrew.

“Tommy Boy refuses to attack!” 

I tried to fight, but I got this refusal instead. I tried to attack the Sandshrew again, but I just kept getting the same message.

“This is a load of crap.”

“Oh, I can make him attack!” My sister stole the GameBoy back and then proceeded to defeat the Sandshrew with no further issue.

“What the... How did you do that?!” My sister gave me a stupid grin, “He listened to me because I’m his mommy!” Sure, whatever, I thought privately to myself.

I was happy to let her train this Trapinch into a Flygon for me, anyway. I was puzzled by its behavior, to say the very least, and decided not asking anything would be better for my health and just kept watching TV.

I thought she would grow bored of training the Pokémon, but no. For the rest of the day and deep into the night, she worked tirelessly to gain experience for Tommy Boy. I wondered how someone could stand training the same Pokémon for so many hours without getting bored at all.

Finally, around 11 PM, she had to go to bed. Unwillingly, she saved the game and turned it off, but not before saying good night to Tommy Boy and kissing the GameBoy goodnight.

I was still allowed to stay up longer, so as soon as she was in bed, I quietly grabbed my GameBoy out from under her bed sheets. Emerald was already in, so I simply switched the game on.

Once the game was loaded, I saw that Tommy Boy was the only one in the party, for some reason.

But he was already evolved into a Flygon, and at level 66. Too bad she only had interest in training Tommy Boy, so much that she decided to stuff all my other team members in the PC.

I started to leave the desert where my sister had last saved when I ran into a wild Baltoy. I lovingly sighed as Tommy Boy came out sparkling. Then, my expression became a bit more serious.

That freaking pixel better listen to me this time.

I clicked on “Fight”. He had new moves: Crunch, DragonBreath, Sandstorm, and Hyper Beam.

I selected Hyper Beam, and desperately hoped that he would obey. I held my breath.

“Tommy Boy refuses to attack!”

“Dang it!!” I yelled at the screen.

Tommy Boy got hit with and attack, which didn’t do too much damage. I kept cursing at the Pokémon. I couldn’t believe I had a shiny in the palm of my hands and it wouldn’t even listen to me!

I selected DragonBreath, despite knowing he wouldn’t obey anyways.

“Tommy Boy wants his mommy!”

I gawked at this line of text. I surely hadn’t seen any Pokémon do that before. I almost wanted to laugh, the way that line was written almost sounded funny, but I was off-put and confused. Tommy Boy got hit with another attack.

“Come on, can’t you at least show some pity for your aunt?!” I spoke aloud to the game, like my sister had started doing. Tommy Boy offered me no pity and kept refusing. I didn’t want to deal with him getting knocked out, so I just turned the game off and begrudgingly went to bed.

The next morning, I found my little sister leaning back in a chair contentedly playing the GameBoy. I realized she snatched it from my room while I was asleep, which I guess was an equal exchange. I asked her if anything weird was happening with the GameBoy, but she said all was fine.

Then she asked me why I was playing on the GameBoy last night.

“Uhh... because it’s my game? I should still be able to play it too.”

She eyed me. “Just don’t mess with Tommy Boy again. Just because you’re his aunt doesn’t mean he likes you.”

She immediately changed her threatening disposition by cheerily calling out, “Oh, good boy, Tommy! You showed that Sandshrew! You make mommy so proud!”

I decided to shrug it off. I wasn’t about to get into an argument with my sister about a video game.

A few days into this, I was over her shoulder watching her play.

She was in the desert, and kept battling the Pokémon there over and over again. Tommy Boy acted like a normal Pokémon, and did nothing unusal.

“Why do you only battle Pokémon in the desert?” “Because, Tommy Boy only likes to battle Pokémon here.” She kept playing, as if everything was normal. After a moment, I thought of another question, “Why will he only obey you and not me?” “I told you, he’ll only listen to his mommy.” “It’s my game he’s on, so I should be his mommy, shouldn’t I? How does he know YOU’RE his mommy?” My sister paused for a moment. After a minute she responded, “Tommy Boy says screw you.” She giggled, while I gave up and left, fuming.

However, days turned into weeks, and my sister had been spending our entire vacation so far just sitting in her room. Apparently, she had started neglecting to eat or drink anything, and would only ever fall asleep when she passed out, GameBoy still in her hands.

It started getting so bad that my mom told me at one point she threw up blood. We’d tried taking the game way from her, but she’d screech at us like she was possessed and tear the whole house apart trying to find it.

Mom said they were arranging for her to see a therapist and get an opinion on what the heck we should do, but for the meantime she was allowed to keep the game, to make things easier for everyone until getting an appointment.

But I wasn’t satisfied with that. I needed to intervene.

One night, I decided to work up the nerve to confront her about her addiction. I found her in her room, as always. She was on the bed with the covers over her head. One would think she was sleeping, but the quiet sounds of the GameBoy gave her away.

I pulled the sheets away from her and she hissed briefly at me before continuing with her eyes glued to the screen. I hardly recognized my happy-go-lucky sister. She looked half dead. I tried holding a conversation with her, but all I got were distant “Mm-hm”s and “It’s fine.” The only way I could get her to talk to me was to attempt to take the game away, to which she immediately responded.

“NO! He’s my baby!!! He NEEDS me!” My sister screeched at me. 

“IT is an inanimate object! It doesn’t NEED anything!” I yelled back at her, clutching her arm that was holding the GameBoy. I managed to rip the Emerald cartridge out of the game while it was still running, causing it to let out horrible screeching sounds. I then pretended to throw it out an open window into the darkness outside of our house, to which my sister immediately pushed me onto the floor and jumped out into the yard after it. 

Picking myself up, I noticed she had dropped my GameBoy, too, so I discreetly plopped the game back into the system and stuffed it into my pocket.

I spitefully closed the window behind my sister. She could come back inside once she realized what this game was doing to her.

What... WAS this game doing to her, I wondered?

Once my sister had collapsed from exhaustion and been carried back to bed by my confused dad (to whom I lyingly explained I had no involvement in this), I decided I would find out for myself.

When I booted up the game, I was in the middle of my secret base in Route 120.

I checked my party to find only Tommy Boy, at a whopping level 100. Since it hand only taken her a day to get him to level 66, she must’ve reached 100 long ago, but she’d still been playing this all month.

Was she seriously doing the same battles over and over, despite him not being able to go any higher...?

When I exited the party screen and was back in the base though, a circle of six Pokédolls were around me that I hadn’t noticed before, which quite frankly creeped me out.

When I tried to move, a text box popped up saying, “Any entity may enter.”

“By blood we are bound.”

A strange red circle appeared in the middle of the circle of dolls, and I quickly realized I didn’t want anything to do with whatever was about to go down.

I tried to step away again, but another text box appeared. 

“Whomever loses may never leave.”

I tried running for dear life out the exit, but I was stopped.

“You may never leave.”

A shiny Flygon appeared in the middle of the circle and let out what I assumed was its cry, albeit I was too horrified for my life at that moment to care much for details, and the game froze.

I shut the game off, stared at it for a second, then suddenly every memory of what I had done earlier in the summer came flooding back at once. I knew exactly what Tommy Boy was now, and I was absolutely terrified.

I wanted to hold myself, cry my eyes out and throw this game into the woods where no one would ever find it, but then I thought about my sister. I thought about how if I didn’t get rid of Tommy Boy now, things would probably get worse and soon I’d wake up to find my little sister stabbing herself to death, or me.

Through my tears, I turned the game back on.

“It’s just you and me now, Tommy. Rematch. Double or nothing.”

If he won, he could take us both. But if I won, he would take his sorry demon hide back to wherever it was he came from. He seemed keen on my offer, as the game started up with no problems.

Once the game was up and running, I found my character in the middle of a dark cave. 

I instinctively went to my party to make someone use Flash, but then I remembered more than likely Tommy Boy was going to be there.

I braced myself...

But I was pleasantly surprised to find there were just some random Pokémon instead.

Of course, I didn't have the HM for Flash. Or the TM for Dig. Or any Escape Rope.

...

Wonderful.

So I stumbled around in the dark, trying to find my way out of this mess.

I kept bumping into walls and rocks, climbing up and down countless ladders, but there was no exit in sight. Or any trainers in sight, for that matter.

In fact, I hadn't run into any wild encounters either, until I came to the conclusion that there was only one Pokémon I would be running into here, and that I should avoid it like the plague.

Was spamming Super Repel going to protect me from a level 100 demonic Flygon? Probably not, but I couldn't be too careful.

After some time nowhere near an hour, I found myself in a small room that had nothing in it. I tried to go back the way I came, but I was stopped. My character wouldn't move. I started to tense up again.

The light surrounding me in-game was snuffed out, and all that could be seen was darkness. I was about to turn the game off before something happened, but before I could, something happened.

“Found you.”

The text in red popped up with a Flygon cry to accompany it, and the game froze again.

"No!" I yelled desperately, flickering the game off and on again. "One chance, give me one more chance!"

Instead, when I loaded the file, I was met with a glitchy, pixelated mess of a screen flashing multicolored lights while blaring the loudest beeping noise I'd ever heard in my life that sent my ears and eyes ringing. I quickly shut off the game and stared at the empty screen in disbelief for I don't know how long.

Had I lost the game?

I couldn't accept that. I was going to play this game all night if I had to. One of us would be leaving tonight, and it wasn't going to be me. Bracing myself, I tightly closed my eyes and powered the game on again. I expected another cacophony of buggy sounds and flashing lights, but surprisingly, I was able to boot up my save file just fine.

But, unfortunately, I didn't get the Round 3 of hide-and-seek that I had vainly asked for.

Instead, I was at the bottom of Mt. Pyre.

I still had the same team as before, unable to Fly or Surf away from this nightmarish set of circumstances that I'd been put in.

I don't know what Tommy Boy was getting at, or what he wanted from me now, but I knew the only way to understand exactly what I was dealing with would be to play along, just for now.

My only option left was to climb Mt. Pyre.

I felt a mounting suspense that kept rising each floor I went to, although I didn't know why. Maybe it was because every floor, even indoors, were all unusually foggy.

However, the wild Shuppet started to make quick work of my low leveled Pokémon.

I then got the sudden idea that maybe this wasn't such a bad thing after all. If my entire party fainted, I could get sent back to a Pokémon Center and escape the boundaries of Tommy Boy's "game."

When they all fainted though, I didn't get sent back. Instead, I was still trapped on Mt. Pyre.

All of the Pokémon that were protecting me were gone now.

I still ran into Shuppet, except I kept sending out a large "?" where a Pokémon should've been.

I kept whiting out, only to return to the position I'd started the battle in.

After a nerve-wracking climb though the graveyard, I reached the top.

Surrounding the pedestal at the top were six PokéBalls.

As I checked each one, a picture of a Pokémon would pop up.  They seemed really familiar, and soon I realized all the Pokémon here were part of the team I was just using.

After I checked the sixth Pokémon, I found my character to be trapped in the center of the pedestal with no way out.

I frantically mashed the D-Pad in hopes of finding some way to escape.

In the midst of my panic, a glowing red circle materialized on the ground, connecting all the PokéBalls surrounding the pedestal, with me still in the center.

I remember at that moment thinking, I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die, and I wholeheartedly believed I was going to.

Then, a large text box in all red with a Flygon cry popped up...

“YOU MAY NEVER LEAVE.”

That right there sealed the deal.

I wasted no shred of time pulling out that Emerald cartridge and cutting it into an unrecognizable pile of green plastic with my scissors.

In my desperation, I brushed the remains of the cartridge into my trash can, wrapped up the trash bag, and went to the extent of escaping through my window and throwing it into the woods. Screw littering, screw the police, I didn't want that thing in my house.

And especially screw Tommy Boy. Screw his little game, screw the thought of him having any sort of control over me.

The only way to win is not to play, and I made sure no one would ever play this game again.

The next morning, my much more well-rested little sister asked where my GameBoy was, and I was about to tell her she was never allowed to touch that thing for as long as she lives, but then she asked to play Mario Party Advance on it.

I was baffled, to say the least, but found no problem in it and let her play it. She showed no signs of becoming obsessed and got bored of playing it after an hour, so I was relieved and assumed that the worst was over.

You can be sure I am not, and will never, plan on performing any more summoning rituals any time soon.

Thankfully, my little sister's gone back to being completely normal. If anything, her only sign of change is that she's getting into that "girly stage". She'll get Pokémon plushies and sit them all in a circle and play tea party with them in her room. At least, that's what I think she's doing with them.

Doesn't matter to me though, I'm busy with my own things. I'm happily content with my dear Darkrai plush that took entirely too much effort out of my life to obtain. I feel really bad for neglecting him these past few weeks, but it's okay.

I won't be giving any more of my time or attention to anyone else except my little baby.

[iamjungkooked]

Mr. Min

↳Pairing: Min Yoongi x female reader

↳Genre: Romance (all fluff)

↳Word count: 4.7K

↳Rating: G

↳Warnings: None

↳Summary:

Min Yoongi is the asshole boss who keeps you late at work every night. But then you find out why and it gives you the upper hand.

A/N: I hope you guys like it!! Finally wrote something less than 5k. It has been a while for sure. Cross posting this from my other blog @iamtaekooked​. You guys have been following me on here even though i am like never on here its crazy. I LOVE YOU ALL. THANK YOU SO MUCH. I AM GOING TO TRY POSTING MORE IF MY LIFE LETS ME.

Your hand begins cramping as you finish writing the report for asshole number one Min Yoongi. Writing a report is easy, but having to write it by hand is what makes you want to strangle him. The tiny blue desk clock strikes 11 pm and once again you lose out on the opportunity to live your life. At this point, you have lost track of how many times you have stayed late at the office while your friends enjoy their weekends with dinners, movies and activities. Sometimes it’s so bad that you video call them just as you’re about to drift off to sleep.

You don’t even bother to hope to go home early anymore. Min Yoongi always finds ways to make you stay late with him. You went through the five stages of grief at first because you felt your life was being taken away from you. You even thought of threatening him with a lawsuit because he couldn’t make you work over 40 hours a week. When you did he was quick to turn the tables by offering you overtime pay-- and not a measly sum. It was money you couldn’t turn away. So, once again you let yourself fall prey to his actions.

Slowly but surely you began getting used to this so-called “routine”. Gradually, hours started fading into one another until one day you became so habituated with staying late (and to the mind-boggling pay) that Yoongi didn’t even have to come to your cubicle to hand you anything. You already asked him in the morning for your evening assignment. One would think this would be a hint for him-- but no. The man was as clueless as one could be.

Like any other night, you had an assignment, one which Yoongi labelled as important. But then again everything was important. Any task he assigned (or rather you asked for) he classified as important. You wondered if he understood what the word means because if everything is important then technically nothing is. Rather than ask him about it, which wasn’t necessary anyway you did what you were handsomely paid to do.

A sigh passed your dry lips. Once again you grabbed the pen and began writing-- this time going as fast as your wrist would allow. The ink flowed from the pen to the paper in black scribbles, hardly understandable. But you could not bring yourself to care. He would have to deal with it, and that was that.

Having written the last sentence, you capped the pen and pushed back the chair so you could go to his office. Your heels hurt from wearing six-inch pumps all day. No less would do because turns out asshole Min Yoongi had made that provision because apparently, it looked “more professional”. While walking to his office you just imagined torturing him in your mind by making him wear these fucking heels. It was slightly comical imagery but also satisfying, so much so that you could not help yourself from smiling.

You knocked on the opaque glass door as you reached his office. It was customary for you to knock once and for him to not answer. Normally you would slide the documents or whatever is needed under the door because Yoongi had specifically requested he not be disturbed. But something prompted you to stick your head against the glass door and peer inside through the clear margins. You couldn’t see anything so despite Yoongi’s “request” you turned the knob, opened the door slightly and peeked your head inside. The scene in front of you however was not quite something you were expecting.

Min Yoongi was laying back against his very comfortable looking plush leather rotating chair, with his headphones on, legs resting on top of the table and his eyes fixed with a concentration on his laptop. There were empty boxes of takeout at his desk and the whole image conveyed to you that he hadn’t actually done any work. It was an inkling, which means you could be wrong. But you would be damned if you didn’t make your presence known.

You walked inside, standing halfway between him and the door and cleared your throat as loud as you could. There was no response as expected. You walked a few steps and stopped just short of his desk, yet he still did not notice you. You looked at the report in your hand and threw it on his desk, which landed with a thud. He jumped, and finally looked at you. It took a second but the realization dawned on him. His eyes bulged like he had been caught red-handed and you noticed his adam’s apple bob as he gulped hard.

He hastily took off his earphones and straightened in his chair. “I thought I told you not to disturb me”

“I am sorry, did I ruin the fun?” your brows knit together.

“Do you have the report?” he asked instead.

You look at the papers on his desk and then back at him to make him aware of it sitting in front of his eyes.  

He fumbles with the papers and picks them up. While he’s busy scanning the papers you take in the state of his desk. One side is completely neat with all the binders and files organized, and the other is just filled with trash. As you’re busy studying the contents of his desk, you notice the name of your client’s company on one of the papers. Curiously you reach towards the file, Yoongi still busy reading your report. You scan the pages and realize without even having to read halfway through it that Yoongi had already finished the report and it was marked with yesterday’s date, which means he already sent it to the client.

“Do you care to explain this Mr. Min?” your fingers curl into a fist around the papers.

His eyes widen once more. “Oh shit” he mumbles-- a deer caught in the headlights expression on his face.

He sighs, dropping your report on the table. “Oh fuck” he rubs his forehead. “It’s nothing,” he says with a straight face just a moment after looking like he’d been caught.

“It looks like you already completed the report. Why did I have to do it if you already did it?”

“I wanted you to” he’s quick to reply.

“I am sorry Mr. Min but that is not a good enough explanation. I stayed here even though I did not have to. I find it unfair that I have to do work that has already been done-- and that too by you. I doubt you don’t trust yourself with work”

“That’s enough with the questions” he replied curtly.

“Wait a minute” you look back at the pile of papers on his desk and find a presentation he had asked you to make for him a week ago. However,  the date this presentation was printed was a week before that which means that once again he made you do something that had already been done. Sensing a pattern you decided to confront him right then and there.

“Pardon my french, but why the hell have I been doing work that had already been done?”

Yoongi sighed once more, but this time he sounded more defeated than the first. “Look, I can’t give you an explanation you will like. There isn’t one. But I’ll tell you the truth”

“Good” you fold your arms across your chest.

“You won’t like this either but I asked you to stay late because I wanted you to be here with me. I never got used to working late at night. Something about being alone always irked me, so I started keeping people around. It’s not right, I know” he’s quick to justify just as he noticed you opening your mouth to speak. “Trust me, I know. But then when Brian left and you joined, I knew that I needed you around. So I started asking you to stay late. Turns out, I liked your company more than I have liked anyone else’s so I even started paying you to stay late, which I have never done either” he finishes, The only problem is he doesn’t sound sincere enough. It’s like he’s telling you for the sake of telling you.

“I am sorry Mr. Min but you are not a child. I can’t be putting my life on hold just so you don’t have to be alone at night. Do you have any idea how many occasions and opportunities I have missed in my life because of this? I couldn’t attend my best friend’s graduation, I couldn’t be there for the birth of my nephew because I was here slaving away. To think it was for nothing is terrible. You should really say sorry” you glare at the man, demanding an apology you know you deserve because it doesn’t matter how much money you got paid. It won’t compensate for the memories you could have made.

He purses his lips. “I won’t” he shakes his head. “I know it’s wrong but I don’t say sorry”

You scoff. “You’re an asshole”

He shrugs as if your remark doesn’t bother him in the slightest. “Be that as it may. I did what I did because I like having you around. In fact, I did it because I like you and I am not ashamed of it”

Under normal circumstances, you probably would have been flattered and even blushed at having been confessed to. But these weren’t normal circumstances and on top of that, it was Min Yoongi.

“How about this-- you can go home early for all of next week” he offers.

It actually makes your blood boil because he thinks he’s being generous. But even if you gave him a wide berth, this wasn’t even cutting it close “All of next month actually” you counter, determined in your own way to make him apologize for his actions.

He considers it. A few beats of silence pass as both of you continue to stare at each other. “Fine” he agrees.

“Good.” you say shortly, before turning on your heels and heading towards the door.

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Yoongi ends up keeping his word for the whole of next month. If it were up to you, you would have asked him that you will never stay late. But after your anger had died down in a week or so, the rational part of your mind convinced you that the money was too good. And it was. So you didn’t try to extend it.

In that one month, however, Yoongi was being awfully generous towards you. You figured it was his way of making up for his actions.

After a week of your heated conversation with him, you found a bouquet of flowers at home addressed to your best friend. There was no name on it. It turned out you did not need a name, because one you knew whose handwriting it was and secondly, the apology was enough for you to know who they were from.

I am sorry y/n missed your graduation. I realize she should have been there with you and it is my fault she was not. I can’t turn back time but I hope these flowers and this small gift make up for it. Congratulations on your achievement.

Accompanying the flowers was a generous gift, one which could have only been given by Yoongi. A full spa weekend with your best friend. It was an all-inclusive offer.

It felt like he was bribing you to forgive him. But even if that were the case, you felt you deserved this and you would be damned if you let it go to waste. If this is how he wanted to apologize, then so be it. In a way, he was giving you the opportunity to spend quality time with Hana.

Hana was ecstatic. “Isn’t it sweet?” she said dreamily.

You couldn’t help but scoff. “It’s not sweet. It’s what he should be doing. Not this exact thing per se. But he needs to be making up for what he did and he is” you reminded her.

“Fine” Hana was quick to give up because even she knew not to argue.

To apologize, at the end of the month Yoongi also ends up giving you the biggest client. This one you feel conflicted about because you can’t discern his intention. So you do the only thing you can. You went charging to his office to demand an explanation.

Maybe he heard you coming but before you could even open your mouth after entering the room he was already speaking.

“I know,” he says as he gave you one glance before focusing on his laptop as he typed away. “I gave you a client because you deserve it. Trying to make up for troubling you is also part of it, but it’s mostly because you deserve it” he explains without sparing you another glance this time. “It just so happens Karla likes you and I think you can understand each other well as women. Not to mention you have great marketing skills that Karla’s company could use” he finishes speaking and the sound of keys clacking stops as well. He gives you his undivided attention. “So” he joins his fingers in a steeple, elbows resting on the desk. “What do you think?”

You don’t even give it a second of thought. “You made a good decision Mr. Min” corners of your lips curve in a smile.

“Of course I did” he reciprocates your smile. “I never make bad decisions” his smile grows into a knowing grin.

You catch the sarcastic play on words. “I wouldn’t be too sure of that”. Your gaze lingers on his a second longer before you nod and turn away to leave.

Just as you reach for the door, he speaks.

“Do your best”

You turn around and give him a curtsey nod. “You bet I will”

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You’re back to working late nights, but this time with Yoongi in his office on actual things that matter.

You and Yoongi have been working on a pitch for Karla’s company to convince them to change their branding. You work late hours into the night as usual. You flirt here and there, but nothing major happens as you both keep it professional(ish). There are a few laughs exchanged, a couple of longing gazes, moments so thick with tension you could practically taste it on your tongue.

You lean over to look at Yoongi’s list of ideas, but unknowingly invade his personal bubble-- that intimate zone only reserved for significant others/spouses. You get caught up in the moment as you look at him, and he looks at you. For a moment you think he’ll kiss you. But instead, he clears his throat. “I’ll be back” his voice is a whisper.

He gets up hurriedly and leaves, clearing his throat all the way to the door.

You watch his figure disappear behind the opaque glass door.

“Keep it professional” you chide yourself with a shake of the head.

You focus back on your notes, flipping through the pages trying to put a concept map together.

A draft of air hits you and you look in the direction to find Yoongi opening the door. He walks in a few feet, one hand hidden behind his back.

Curiosity piqued and you offer him an inquisitive look. “What are you hiding Mr. Min?”

Wordlessly, he brings his arm forward. In his hand is a bouquet of baby’s breath flowers.

“How did you-” you start.

“I know” he erases the distance between you as he stops just shy of invading your intimate space and holds out the flowers.

You reach for them. “Thank you. But how do you know I like these?”

“You said it” he mentions.

“I did?” you look at him puzzled.

“Two nights ago. We were talking about using florals to brighten up the aesthetic for Karla’s company and you mentioned baby’s breath is your favourite flower”

“ I don’t even remember saying that” you shake your head, almost in disbelief that he remembered. “You actually remembered?”

He nods. “I remember everything you say” he replies“ no matter how sharply you put it” he adds with a chuckle.

At a loss for words, all you can do is stare at the man filled with a foreign feeling.

“Thank you” you finally manage to say.

“You’re very welcome” his lips curve into a smile.

He returns to his seat while you place the flowers on his desk as gently as you can. Once he’s seated you take the opportunity to ask. “Mr. Min” you address him.

“Yeah” he looks at you in a way that makes your heart race faster.

“Why did you give me these?” it feels like the incessant urgent know has been satisfied and you feel relieved.

He shrugs. “I don’t know. I guess I wanted to” he looks down at the papers in front of him. A few moments of silence pass as you continue studying him while he keeps his gaze downcast. “An-anyway let's get back to it” he quickly changes the subject.

You nod. Under the dim lighting of his office, for the very first time you notice how handsome he looks. His skin looks like porcelain, his eyes glimmer with a hint of golden flecks around the irises. His lips look buttery soft. You bite back on your lip as you realize how much quicker you’re breathing.

“Is something wrong?” Yoongi questions as he looks up at you.

You vigourously shake your head. “I just— I am sorry”

“I caught you staring didn’t I?” he responds but it’s not really meant to be a question. “I don’t mind. I like the attention” he winks.

Your eyes widen. “I— I wasn’t” your attempt at denying it is futile and even you know it. But you have to at least attempt to save face.

“If it helps, I actually think it’s cute” his lips upturn in a playful smile.

You keep mum, considering there is nothing to say. Even though you don’t speak, the smile on your lips says everything Yoongi needs to know.

You hear him softly laughing and you can sense him just shaking his head. Then you hear something and you aren’t sure if you hear it right but it sounds an awful lot like “you’re cute miss y/n”

You end up spending another hour brainstorming ideas. After that last exchange between you, you thought you couldn’t concentrate. But you did. And once more you flirted a little, exchanged gazes, and avoid as hard as you can to pay no mind to the vibe between you.

“I think we should call it a night” Yoongi stretches his arms over his head with a groan. “You’re tired too”

“Okay” you start gathering all the papers into a pile.

“Don’t worry about this” he waves his hand in a dismissive manner. “I’ll do it. Start getting your stuff together. I’ll drop you off”

“You don’t have to” you reply, the burdensome feeling coming on. “I can go home”

“Did I give you a choice?” he narrows his eyes at you. “Just because I got you these flowers, and that spa day and gave you Karla doesn’t mean you get to tell what I have or don’t have to do. Got it” he sounds a little stern, but in a way where he’s being thoughtful more than trying to be a jerk.

“Yes, Mr. Min” the meekness in your voice surprises you. As you stand in front of him you cannot understand what brings on this sudden submissive attitude. But you have already agreed and something tells you Mr. Min won’t take no for an answer.

“I’ll be right there” he motions to the door with his head, indicating that you should pack up.

“Okay” you pick up the bouquet and quietly walk out of his office.

The walk back to your desk is filled with mixed emotions. A fluttery feeling floats in your stomach, giving you the perception that your head is spinning. You almost stumble as you reach your desk. You realize you’re breathless as you grip onto the edges of the desk to steady yourself. “Shit. So much for keeping it professional” you mutter while you grab your bag. You sling it over your shoulder. You gather the flowers in your hand as you wait for Yoongi.

Moments later he’s coming out. “Ready?” he asks.

With a dry mouth and dizzying intoxication brought upon his presence all you do is nod.

“After you.” he says.

Maybe he isn’t an asshole after all.

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The sounds of crickets chirping in the silence of the night help shroud some of your thoughts. But not enough apparently because merely Yoongi’s presence is enough to send you in a tizzy. It’s maybe only been about five seconds since Yoongi stopped in front of your house but it sure feels like hours.

“Umm” you’re the first to break the silence. “Well, thank you for the ride an-and for these flowers”

“You’re welcome” comes his quiet voice.

You unlock the door, one foot already out of the door.

“Wait” his hand on your forearm stops you.

You turn to look at him. “Yeah?”

“I actually brought you these flowers because I was going to ask you on a date” he confesses.

“Oh” is all you can manage. You don’t know what else to say.

“So, will you…?” he sounds unsure as he says these words, almost like he himself doesn’t know.

He sounds sincere enough. But as it stands you have two choices: give in easily at which point you may as well give up any hope in future of asking him for anything. Or you could just play hard to get so he knows it won’t be easy.

“I’ll think about” confidence flows through your voice, and along with a coy smirk on your lips.

Yoongi’s previously solemn expression is replaced by a crooked smile. He studies you quietly, making you wonder what he’s thinking. “I’ll give you five minutes”

“No. If that’s how long you think it takes to figure out whether I want to give you a chance, then my answer is no”.

“Fine. How long do you want?”

“It’s not about long I want Mr. Min. It’s about how long you are willing to wait” and without hearing his response you exit the car.

All Yoongi can do is stare at you open-mouthed-- stunned and in utter disbelief.

You didn’t know Yoongi would wait for two whole months. You didn’t expect him to keep it professional between you either

You also didn’t expect Min Yoongi to come to your desk at 2 pm and ask you to look over the designs for one of your clients.

“You look lovely today y/n” he stops next to your desk, holding out a file for you.

“I always look lovely” you take the file from him, dismissing his compliment because you’re sure he’s just buttering you up into doing something for him. Not that you wouldn’t if he hadn’t said anything.

“I mean it” his voice softens as he recognizes your disbelief. “Blue looks good on you’” he motions to your blue blouse, and looks you straight in the eyes. He doesn’t even flinch-- which means he actually probably means it.

You certainly don’t regret picking it out anymore. “Thank you”

“You’re very welcome.” he adds with a smile that stretches into a grin. “Oh and can you look this over. Please and thank you”

“I will” you nod. “Question for you”

“Anything” he half sits on your desk as he awaits your ask.

“Did you come here to give me the file or to tell me I look good?”

“I came here to tell you, you look beautiful if what you’re after is my motive” the corners of his mouth turn up in a soft flirty smile.

“I am. But I’ll also look at this” you gesture to the file in your hand.

He acknowledges your response with a nod as he turns around and starts towards his office.

“Mr. Min” you call out and he turns around. “That suit looks great on you”

It takes him a second to comprehend your words, but as soon as he does, he’s back to smiling. “Thank you y/n”

Just as easily he struts away, just as easily everyone around you is stunned into silence. It looks like a comic scene as everyone looks at Yoongi’s retreating figure with mouth’s agape.

“Did he flirt with you?” one of your coworker’s peers over the divide between your cubicles.

You look up at him. “Yes he did”

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At 4 pm, you walk back to his office with your notes on the changes that should be made. You knock on the door once. He doesn’t answer so you take it as your cue to enter.

“Here are the notes” you hold out the file as you stop just in front of his desk.

“It’s already done?” Yoongi is forced to look up his work.

“Yes and yes”

“Okay. You can leave it on the desk” he goes back to his work.

You wait for him to catch on. But he doesn’t. So you start towards the door.

“Wait” he calls out. “Yes and Yes?”

You turn around, feeling giddy with anticipation.

“What’s the second yes for?” he looks at you puzzled.

“I guess you don’t want to go on that date anymore” you quirk a brow.

He closes his laptop and leans back in his chair. “Took you long enough”

“You reap what you sow Mr. Min”

“Is that right?” it’s rhetorical of course but you nod anyway.

He chuckles. “Let’s go “ he grabs his coat from the back of the chair and swings it around and on his shoulders.

You look at him puzzled. “Right now? What about work?”

“First, I am the boss so I make the rules and I say we go. Second, I made the mistake of offering you five minutes of time to make your decision. You really think I am going to give you a day or two for this date”

You can’t help but laugh. “In that case Mr. Min, let’s go”

He heads to the door first as you follow “After you” he opens it and you’re almost out of the door when he shuts the door. “Wait. I have to do something” he pulls you to himself, supporting you by the waist as he presses his lips to yours.

Maybe time stops when his lips meet yours. But the flutter in your stomach only intensifies. You feel weak in the knees. You hold onto the nape of Yoongi’s neck as your legs begin to tingle. Yoongi’s hands rest on your sides, and gently make their way up to cup your cheeks. You moan into his mouth, as his tongue dances against your lips.

Yoongi keeps his eyes slightly open as he pulls back for air. He wasn’t sure if he was dreaming so he held onto you tighter, causing you to become aware of the contour of his body flush against yours. “I am sorry if I took you by surprise” he’s slightly breathless and flushed. “I wasn’t sure how the date would go and if I would get the chance to do this. If you don’t want to go anymore” he stops to lick his lips. “I would understand” he finishes.

“So you’re not an asshole after all” you look at him through the curtain of your eyelashes.

He raises a brow at you silently telling you to consider your wording as if you're treading on thin ice. “I am still your boss”

You shrug. “You lost the upper hand when you asked me out”

“I knew I liked you for a reason” he says while he takes a tiny step back to give you space and time to collect yourself.

“I think I might fall” your breathless voice takes you by surprise.

“You already have” he curls his fingers around yours.

Hand in hand you walk out of his office, causing ruckus in your wake as your coworkers gawk in disbelief at your departing figures. Because how could Mr.Min be acting like this? More importantly, how could Mr. Min be smiling like an absolute idiot.

I hope you enjoyed it :) Don’t forget to like and reblog! Thank you for reading.